IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays.

#music #world #country
Nowadays, various different kinds of
music
 can be found around the world. There are some reasons to explain why
music
 plays a vital role in our
life
.
Besides
,
although
 the proliferation of international
music
, I strongly believe that traditional
music
also
 is more important. There are two reasons why
music
 is an indispensable aspect of human
life
.
Firstly
,
music
 serves as a main source of entertainment, bringing a rush of joy for listeners. Listening to a piece of
music
 could relieve
people
’s stress and allow them to have relaxation after pressure-filled working hours, potentially avoiding stress-related diseases.
Secondly
,
music
 is considered as a platform to foster social closeness. Due to the fact that
music
 is a universal language, creating a connection between listeners who share the same interests in
music
 taste regardless of their backgrounds, their age, etc. In short, it is difficult to imagine
life
 without
music
. In my opinion,
although
 an increasing preference towards international
music
, traditional
songs
 still play an indispensable role in terms of cultural values. Because traditional
music
 bears the old history, it could connect us to the past and form part of our cultural identity.
For example
, by listening to folk
songs
 which are originated thousands of years ago,
people
 could gain more understandings about the way of
life
 of their ancestors owing to melodies, rhythms and lyrics expressed through these
songs
.
Therefore
, it would be a real pity if pop
music
 became so predominant that these traditional
songs
 disappeared. In conclusion,
people
’s preference towards
music
 is because it accommodates
people
’s entertainment purposes and connects
people
 together.
Although
people
 have a tendency to listen to international
songs
, traditional
music
 still has a vital part to assist
people
 in enhancing their knowledge about their own culture.
Submitted by anltt18402c on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional release
  • cultural significance
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • technology
  • preservation
  • cultural heritage
  • social cohesion
  • expression
  • consumption
  • production
  • traditional music
  • international music
  • diversity
  • identity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: