Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts, and that this money could be spend somewhere else. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #arts

It is often argued that government should

provides

Change the verb form

provide

show examples

more money for different disciplines rather than

art

.In my opinion , I completely disagree with

this

view and thinking that

art

presents multiple values to

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

and one of the most important

field

Change to a plural noun

fields

show examples

that we have to improve it.

Firstly

, artistic activities help people to entertain and have some positive energies .

In other words

, after a long and

tired

Replace the word

tiring

show examples

day of work or study , individuals prefer to practice their

art

hobbies or attend a pleasant event in order to relax , break from work and reduce

level

Correct pronoun usage

their level

show examples

of stress .

For example

, a lot of families find pleasure to watch movies at the cinema in holidays for the reason that can help them to have fun and be in good mood .

Thus

art

remains a fundamental element in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

human

life

and we cannot ignore

his

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

huge positive impact .

Secondly

, I strongly believe that artistic children become more successful in their

life

. To put it simply , students who are

intersted

Correct your spelling

interested

in one of

art

Add an article

the art

show examples

leisures , find themselves rapidly and improve their mental and physical health by introducing

Correct your spelling

themselves

theirselves

Correct your spelling

themselves

show examples

to novel ideas and skills and improving their imagination and

creativy

Correct your spelling

creativity

creative

Moreover

,they adopt various good habits and break harmful ones .

For instance

, my cousin who was

timide

Correct your spelling

timid

and addicted to video games has fewer interests to study and no goals in future .

However

, his

life

was changed positively after the day

who

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

tryed

Correct your spelling

tried

painting in school , he

become

Change the verb form

becomes

show examples

passionated

Correct your spelling

passionate

show examples

and really work hard to become a great painter .

In addition

, he

developped

Correct your spelling

developed

plenty

skills

Change preposition

of skills

show examples

self confidence

Add a hyphen

self-confidence

show examples

.That's why

art

can makes

a positive changes

Correct the article-noun agreement

a positive change

positive changes

show examples

in children's

life

. In conclusion , I take the view that the government should put more effort to improve

art

's field because it presents

positive

Correct article usage

a positive

show examples

impact

Change preposition

show examples

the behaviour of humans and helps children to

success

Replace the word

succeed

show examples

in their

life

Submitted by elgalalafatimazahra on Tue Aug 17 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

333 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

enriching society
promoting cultural understanding
development of talent
creative industries
economic benefits
generate revenue
cultural heritage
identity
prioritize spending
needs of the majority

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are a important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, craft subjects are contributing to the evolution of education for children’s growth, some argue that these subjects need to be taught in the academic years of children. One writer believes that art makes students more creative and able to cope with craft aspects of situations, while, another thinks that professional classes are wasting time.
4
band
There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate about whether people have the right to attend college so the governor should cover the tuition waiving. Meanwhile, from in my point of view, I do not consider myself an advocate of this idea.
Without a shadow of a doubt, the waiver of tuition fees is not the sole responsibility of the government. This is because the authorities have to pay for many other facets and residents should pay for their tertiary education. By doing this, they will have more responsibility for their studyings and raise awareness about their learning quality. For example, building facilities, thriving tourism and expanding the entertainment industry can be cited as a compelling instances, which the government must invest in. Moreover, if the governor pays in full, people who drop out of schools or are slothful will also benefit, which would be unfair to other conscious learners. Thus, the government is not required to cover the educational expenses of students attending universities.
5.5
band
I didn't have any nightmare travel experiences, but my friend has had such an experience.
I didn't have any nightmare travel experiences, but my friend has had such an experience. She flew to Russia twice, to St. Petersburg. All these two times she flew with her mother and on business, they made various documents, tried to apply for citizenship in advance and got it done. When they flew there for the first time, everything seemed to go well and they handed over all their personal data and documents and even had time to rest. But when they flew for the second time, everything didn’t go according to plan. When they landed at St. Petersburg airport they were immediately detained by the police. My friend was taken to some orphanage or shelter, and her mother was taken to the police. My friend spent 2 days in a separate room with no windows, just a bed.The food was completely incomprehensible; no one knew what it was. The room was very small. My friend said if she stayed there for a long time, she would simply go crazy within these four walls. Finally, after two days of suffe...
6
band
In many countries nowadays,consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
What we eat remains a perennial topic in society, captivating widespread interest and discussion. I concur with the notion that it is pivotal for customers, that easy access to food produced all over the world is a positive development, albeit acknowledging situations where global food access doesn't reign supreme. This essay will delve into the reasons supporting this standpoint.
5
band
In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative?
it is said that in some nations, people have chosen increasingly to live alone. I think it is a negative phenomenon.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts, and that this money could be spend somewhere else. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are a important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate about whether people have the right to attend college so the governor should cover the tuition waiving. Meanwhile, from in my point of view, I do not consider myself an advocate of this idea.

I didn't have any nightmare travel experiences, but my friend has had such an experience.

In many countries nowadays,consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+