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Writing Samples
Band 7

Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. What are the possible causes of this trend, and what solutions would be effective in reducing crime levels?

#crime #countries #world #people #trend #levels
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In many nations, committing a crime has been increasing among teenagers. The causes of
this
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 appear to be focused on three areas, and the number of solutions
also
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 appear to be possible. Primarily, it might be said that nowadays both parents often work full
time
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, leading to less attention to their
children
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. Adolescents who are absent attention might be involved in bad things.
For example
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,
children
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 tend to start smoking or drinking due to peer pressure or bad role models.
Furthermore
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, spending excessive
time
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 playing computer games and watching content, involving violence without any control. It seems that some
children
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 might absorb dangerous patterns of behaviour, leading to child abduction. Turning to possible solutions, it may appear advisable for parents to act as role models and establish ground rules for behaviour by spending as much
time
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 as possible with their
children
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.
This
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 allows adolescents to develop conventions and codes of conduct that they can follow themselves, possibly leading to an absence of problems
such
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 as bullying, truancy and delinquency later on.
Moreover
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, parents should be aware of what their
children
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 are playing and watching on the internet. One of the possible ways to reduce the
time
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children
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 spend on video games can be encouraging them to read books. Reading a variety of books might help broaden
children
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’s imagination, and they establish a good sense of feelings. Overall, the key problems of committing a crime among young people can be a lack of attention and spending a huge amount of
time
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 playing games that involve violence.
Submitted by ganbayr46 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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