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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Television dominates the free time for too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

#television #time #people
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These days ,the number of
Add an article
the person
a person
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person
Change to a plural noun
people
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 who prefers spending
time
Use synonyms
 on watching
TV
Use synonyms
 is growing . Some individuals argue that
this
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tendacy
Correct your spelling
tendency
 makes people introverted and inactive . In my opinion , I agree with
this
Linking Words
 view and think
televison
Correct your spelling
television
 leads to serious problems for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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.
Firstly
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 , I take the view that overusing
of
Change preposition
apply
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TV
Use synonyms
 reduce real human interactions .
In other words
Linking Words
 , people who have
watchig
Correct your spelling
watched
watching
TV
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 as a
principale
Correct your spelling
principal
principle
hobie
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Hobie
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, spend less
time
Use synonyms
 with friends and their families and choose to practice individual activities .
For example
Linking Words
 , many
of
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apply
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women replace the
time
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 witch they meet their friends in coffee by
waching
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watching
turkish
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Turkish
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 movies .
Thus
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,
televion
Correct your spelling
television
 can affect
Add an article
the
a
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negatively social relationship and makes individual less extroverted .
Secondly
Linking Words
 , I believe that past
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time
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on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching
TV
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 can reduce productivity and efficiency of persons . To put it simply ,people who are addicted to
TV
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 become less interested
to
Change the preposition
in
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 active activities and in some cases find
Correct pronoun usage
it difficulties
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difficulties
Replace the word
difficult
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 to perform their work , as a consequence , they usually tiring and
have
Add a missing verb
do have
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 not the energy to complete their tasks and that can
affets
Correct your spelling
affect
affects
 directly their career and future .
For instance
Linking Words
 , many studies prove that active
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 who
do
Change the verb form
does
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 multiples physical activities in their day are more productive and
acheiver
Correct your spelling
achieve
achiever
 in their life . That's why
televison
Correct your spelling
television
 engender
probelms
Correct your spelling
problems
 relied
to
Change the preposition
on
upon
show examples
 effectiveness and
acheivement
Correct your spelling
achievement
 . In conclusion , I strongly believe that spending much
time
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on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching
TV
Use synonyms
 leads to
serious
Add an article
a serious
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problem
Change the noun form
problems
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such
Linking Words
 as lack of human interaction and productivity .
Submitted by elgalalafatimazahra on

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