Television dominates the free time for too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

#television #time #people

These days ,the number of

Add an article

the person

a person

show examples

person

Change to a plural noun

people

show examples

who prefers spending

time

on watching

is growing . Some individuals argue that

this

tendacy

Correct your spelling

tendency

makes people introverted and inactive . In my opinion , I agree with

this

view and think

televison

Correct your spelling

television

leads to serious problems for

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

Firstly

, I take the view that overusing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

reduce real human interactions .

In other words

, people who have

watchig

Correct your spelling

watched

watching

as a

principale

Correct your spelling

principal

principle

hobie

Change the capitalization

Hobie

show examples

, spend less

time

with friends and their families and choose to practice individual activities .

For example

, many

Change preposition

apply

show examples

women replace the

time

witch they meet their friends in coffee by

waching

Correct your spelling

watching

turkish

Change the capitalization

Turkish

show examples

movies .

Thus

televion

Correct your spelling

television

can affect

Add an article

the

show examples

negatively social relationship and makes individual less extroverted .

Secondly

, I believe that past

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching

can reduce productivity and efficiency of persons . To put it simply ,people who are addicted to

become less interested

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show examples

active activities and in some cases find

Correct pronoun usage

it difficulties

show examples

difficulties

Replace the word

difficult

show examples

to perform their work , as a consequence , they usually tiring and

have

Add a missing verb

do have

show examples

not the energy to complete their tasks and that can

affets

Correct your spelling

affect

affects

directly their career and future .

For instance

, many studies prove that active

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

who

Change the verb form

does

show examples

multiples physical activities in their day are more productive and

acheiver

Correct your spelling

achieve

achiever

in their life . That's why

televison

Correct your spelling

television

engender

probelms

Correct your spelling

problems

relied

Change the preposition

upon

show examples

effectiveness and

acheivement

Correct your spelling

achievement

. In conclusion , I strongly believe that spending much

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching

leads to

serious

Add an article

a serious

show examples

problem

Change the noun form

problems

show examples

such

as lack of human interaction and productivity .

Submitted by elgalalafatimazahra on Tue Aug 17 2021

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Television dominates the free time for too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

many countries are spending a huge of money on supporting their competitors to take part in some worldwide sports competitions. others argue that it would be better if these countries could spend the money on children to take part in sports. to what extent do you agree or disagree

In many countries,fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available Do the disadvantages of this outweight the advantages

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.