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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The best way to solve traffic and transport problems is to encourage people to live in cities rather than in surburbs or countryside. What are the effects of rapid population growth in the city? How can the quality of life of city dwellers be maintained?

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Overpopulation
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 is a significant concern in today's world. Many people believe that residents tend to live in cities rather than the suburbs or countryside. The increase in population within cities can lead to numerous issues. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the detrimental effects of
overpopulation
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 and feasible measures to address
this
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 challenge. One of the major concerns associated with a rising population is the growing number of homeless individuals. When the population increases, available housing often becomes inadequate to accommodate everyone, forcing many people to live on the streets or roadways.
This
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 situation exposes them to various challenges, including threats from criminals and a heightened risk of disease. A viable solution to
this
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 issue is the renovation of urban infrastructure.
In other words
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, the
government
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 should implement effective urban planning initiatives. If the
government
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 takes steps to address
this
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 issue, it can make a significant difference. Singapore serves as an excellent example of a country that has successfully managed
overpopulation
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 through effective planning.
Furthermore
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, another major concern linked to the increasing density of people is the rise in crime rates. In crowded environments, criminals find more opportunities to engage in activities like pickpocketing, theft, and robbery. To combat
this
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 problem, the
government
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 should take immediate action,
such
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 as installing more security cameras and increasing police presence in cities. By doing so, these crime rates are likely to decrease. In conclusion,
overpopulation
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 has serious effects on urban residents, leading to an increase in homelessness and higher crime rates. To address these issues, the
government
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 should implement measures
such
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 as comprehensive urban planning and enhanced security systems. Prompt action is necessary to effectively tackle the challenges posed by
overpopulation
Use synonyms

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task achievement
Expand on the economic impact of population growth in urban areas for a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Maintain clear paragraph transitions to improve flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are well-presented, setting clear context and summarizing main points effectively.
task achievement
Use of a relevant example (Singapore) helps in effectively supporting the main point.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained with clear separation of different effects and proposed solutions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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