Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in traveling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days, people are argued about locate more apartments close to the central part of the city to replace the useless green area. They believe it is the best way to reduce the meaningless commuting
time
.
However
, I oppose the idea.
First
of all, it would
no
Add a missing verb
be no
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place for workers to relieve their stress after
work
. It cannot be denied that spending leisure
time
at
parks
or gardens during the lunch break is important for employees, especially those who live in
Add an article
the metropolis
a metropolis
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metropolis
Fix the agreement mistake
metropolises
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. They could chat with friends about
massive
Correct article usage
the massive
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work
they are assigned or just complain about
working
Correct article usage
the working
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environment in the company. After that, they would have a brand-new attitude and get back to
work
.
Thus
, the
time
spent at
parks
motivates them to face
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
challenging tasks.
In addition
to that, employees could
also
do some exercise like jogging or cycling at
parks
after
work
, which benefits both their health and life. Obviously, there are various ways to cut down the commuting
time
for long-distance
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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, eliminating green areas may not the ideal method to do that.
For example
, develop public transport
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
like
metro
Correct article usage
the metro
show examples
and railway could be an effective way to help people reduce commuting
time
.
In addition
, the bus company could increase routes for popular rental places, so workers, especially women workers won’t be worried about the potential safety emergency after
work
. Not only the public transport could help to tackle the issue, but
also
the companies themselves could adjust their management system, meanwhile, offering more flexible regulations of taking attendance.
For instance
, many companies nowadays encourage to use
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of varies
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varies
Replace the word
various
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methods to share messages, through emails or video calls. For them, it is not necessary to show up every day with
fixed
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a fixed
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timetable. In conclusion, on the
whole
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,whole
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I would
favor
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favour
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to maintain
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maintaining
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the green are among busy commercial and businesses, and leave some space for people as recreational grounds, relocating
parks
and gardens may not the ideal way to handle the real issue
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • commuters
  • urban areas
  • housing availability
  • alleviating housing crises
  • public transport
  • traffic congestion
  • environmental health
  • biodiversity
  • recreational
  • mental health benefits
  • urban heat islands
  • green lungs
  • community interaction
  • cohesion
  • innovative urban planning
  • multi-use buildings
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