Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons and disadvantages of this trend?

The world is changing a lot than the previous time and the living standard of people is improving.

Therefore

Linking Words

, many people choose to live differently versus their parents, and marrying lately or having

children

Use synonyms

later is one of

different

Add an article

the different

show examples

things. There are some reasons to lead

this

Linking Words

phenomenon and

also

Linking Words

bring the negative effect to

society

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, the youth are living in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

modern and peaceful world

that is

Linking Words

safer in the period

time

Change preposition

of time

show examples

of their parents who may suffer in war.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the young generation

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not have the pressure about giving

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

birth to create the

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

for servicing the

country

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, my grandmother had ten

children

Use synonyms

and more a half of them died in the military, but in my mother's generation, each family has two or three kids and no more.

Secondly

Linking Words

woman

Fix the agreement mistake

women

show examples

are received

Change the verb form

have received

show examples

an education equally with men, so they have many purposes to achieve like success in career path, follow their dream, etc. Girls are not limited anymore about being a standard mother to be fit to the

Use synonyms

society'

Correct your spelling

society's

show examples

standards or having more opportunities to get higher education.

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend

cause

Change the verb form

causes

show examples

some disadvantages for

women

Use synonyms

and

society

Use synonyms

. Having

children

Use synonyms

lately will cause some dangerous consequences for

women

Use synonyms

's health.

Besides

Linking Words

, the worst thing is many

women

Use synonyms

are unable to be pregnant after forty years old. To illustrate

this

Linking Words

, my cousin sister had to receive a child from other

women

Use synonyms

because she was forty-two at that time and she had no the ability to give a baby by herself.

Furthermore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend makes the families have one child because of their age and that lead to the decreasing population of the

country

Use synonyms

. Japan is the

country

Use synonyms

that facing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the lowest rate of young employees in their history, they have to make many benefits to encourage

Add an article

the family

show examples

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

to have more

children

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, there are some factors that lead to the trend of deciding to have

children

Use synonyms

later in

society

Use synonyms

and it impacts few negative aspects for each

Use synonyms

women

Change to a singular noun

woman

show examples

and the

country

Use synonyms

hothimyhoa26

Aug 18, 2021

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

341 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

prioritization
financial stability
educational prospects
personal development
health advancements
fertility options
economic uncertainties
parenthood
societal norms
life experience
generational gap
upbringing

What to do next:

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Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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