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Band 6

some people say that spending time to develop a successful career is the most important thing. Others say that spending time with friends and family is important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #career #friends
There is no
doudt
Correct your spelling
doubt
 that spending
time
 proper way is the most
importan
Correct your spelling
important
 thing in any human
life
. There are those who say that
time
 should be
spand
Correct your spelling
spend
spent
 to build
career
Add an article
a career
show examples
.
However
,
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 believe that
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 important to spend
time
 with friends and family. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will examine
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both sides of the
arguments
 and provide my overall opinion to support my
arguments
. Generally
speaking
Add a comma
,speaking
show examples
 there are mainly two reasons why
people
 believe that we should spend
time
 to build my
career
. Perhaps the main reason why
people
 are in favour of
this
idea
 is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
 develop a
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
career
 is the
first
 priority and all other relationships are
secundary
Correct your spelling
secondary
.
That is
 the reason we should spend
time
 as much as possible to develop
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
career
. If anyone can develop
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
career
,
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
people
 will come in
life
 without any effort. A
further
 point in favour of
this
idea
 is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 without
Correct article usage
a career
show examples
career
Add a comma
,career
show examples
people
 have to be always dependent on others.
For instance
, if any
people
 spend their
time
to build
Change the verb form
building
show examples
 relationships instated of build
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
, they may have to
be always depend
Change the verb form
always depend
show examples
 on
this
. Despite, the
arguments
 there is cause for the
idea
 that spending
time
 with spend and family is important. Perhaps the main reason why
people
 think
that is
 a good
idea
 is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 relationship with
frinds
Correct your spelling
friends
 and family is the main
basic
Replace the word
basis
show examples
 for mental peace. if any
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 have
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
career
 but
not
Add an article
a not
show examples
 good relationship with friends and family, there is no value for their
life
. Bad relationships turn into
personal
Add an article
a personal
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
such
 as
lonely
Replace the word
loneliness
show examples
,
alcolisi
Correct your spelling
alcoholism
 and
alinieat
Correct your spelling
alignment
. in conclusion,
this
 is a topic which is very relevant to modern
sociaty
Correct your spelling
society
.despite
arguments
 to the contrary. I feel very strongly that, spending
time
 for developing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
career
 is important. if have only
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 relationship
whithout
Correct your spelling
without
career
,
life
 will be always
depndent
Correct your spelling
dependent
dependant
 on others.
Submitted by fmarif2009 on

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