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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Teenagers should not be allowed to use mobile phones at school. To what extent to do you agree?

#teenagers #phones #school
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In
this
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 contemporary era, most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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teenage
students
Use synonyms
 have their own cellular phones. While these devices undoubtedly play a crucial role in safety, connectedness and even leaving, some individuals deem that restriction should be imposed to inhibit its use inside
school
Add an article
the school
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campus
Fix the agreement mistake
campuses
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. I strongly believe
this
Linking Words
 is a positive step and can bring benefits not only academically but physically and socially too. To commence with, restricting phone use at school can immensely improve learning.
This
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 is simply because
without
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,without
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 these gadgets, there are fewer distractions for teachers and
students
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there will be no irresistible urge of checking their phones frequently for text matches, social media updates and calls, which divert their focus from studying sincerely. it
become
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becomes
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 difficult for the most observant teacher to catch a student red hand while sneakily using the device during a lesson. To illustrate, one survey conducted by the University of New York revealed that using firms excessively reduces the concentrations of
students
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 drastically by 67%. If learners will be able to pay attention in class that can have
severe
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a severe
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 impact on their academic career.
Consequently
Linking Words
, a blanket ban on mobile devices inside educational institutions free scholars from
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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compulsive scrolling through the mobile screen and allows them to become attentive.
In addition
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, banning gadgets within campus
boundary
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boundaries
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 can offer improvements in
students
Use synonyms
 physical health. If they will be away from cellular devices, they can have
ample
Correct article usage
an ample
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 amount of time for sports and games, which will ensure enhancing their wellbeing.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, during
lunchbreak
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lunch break
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 and recess children will be forced to engage in conversations and various outdoor activities with their classmates. A research proved that playing for an hour during schooling regularly can effectively elevate
physical
Correct article usage
the physical
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 health of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 and assist in diminishing stress
level
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levels
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. Henceforth, enforcing regulation by institution authorities can prevent pupils to become lethargic and achieve the goal of developing healthier habits To recapitulate, despite having multiple benefits and usefulness of
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this gadgets
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this gadget
these gadgets
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 there insert should be limited with firm boundaries and exclusions in certain conditions and places
will
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that will
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 help
students
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 to build
bright
Correct article usage
a bright
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 future.
Submitted by debojit.chakrabarty4 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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