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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Research has shown that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, the advertising of certain food products should be banned in the same way as the advertising of cigarettes in some countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some medical experts believe that excessive
food
 consumption has the same adverse impacts on people’s
health
 as smoking, so it is necessary to implement a prohibition on advertisements for both certain
food
products
 and smoking. In my opinion, while I accept those
food
 advertisements may bring about some certain serious
health
 problems as smoking, I believe that advertising of
food
products
 should not be banned. On the one hand, there are two main reasons why consuming an unnecessarily large amount of
food
 is detrimental to public
health
. The
first
 reason is that excessive
food
 intake increases body fat, which could significantly contribute to obesity and diabetes. In recent years, the number of obese people suffering from self-preventable diseases caused by overeating has constantly grown at an unprecedented rate. The
second
 reason is that consuming unhealthy
food
 daily, including fast
food
, sugary drinks, or processed
food
, can result in numerous
health
-related problems
such
 as blood pressure or high cholesterol.
Therefore
, issues regarding people’s
health
 caused by eating an enormous amount of
food
 are undoubtedly comparable with those caused by smoking or even lung cancer.
However
, despite the problems mentioned above, I disagree with the idea of banning
food
 advertisements in the way tobacco commercials are banned.
Firstly
, as for
food
 companies, advertising is the key feature to approach prospective customers and introduce their new
products
 and services. Many
food
 manufacturers would experience crises without publicity materials because their profit declines due to
this
 prohibition policy.
Furthermore
, it is disadvantageous to customers because they will not be informed about
products
 they want to buy. In fact, advertising encourages people to purchase things, but it only plays a small part in
food
 intake, which is mainly determined by the consumers themselves. In conclusion,
although
 I agree that consuming an excessive amount of
food
 is harmful as smoking for
health
, it seems to me that the advertising of foodstuffs should not be banned
Submitted by cuong11093 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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