Do you believe that professional athletes make good role models for young people Give specific reason and explain them with examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#athletes #role #models #people #reason

From my viewpoint, the young generation is affected by famous

people

's behaviour in many cases. Obviously, an idol, for them, is like a model of lifestyle and morality. In

this

paper

Add a comma

,paper

show examples

I want to highlight what sportspersons play role in youth's self-perfection.

Firstly

, if you follow athletes, you are regularly looking to engage in physical activities, which bring you health and relaxation.

For instance

, when you are a football fan, you certainly love to participate in a soccer team in order to develop yourself or simply imitate kinds of skills like David Beckham, Cristiano Ronaldo, ... Practicing sports is extremely necessary because in

this

period of rapid development of information technology per

people

almost only concentrate on smartphones. Despite the benefit of following participants who have good health, there is still the presence of some sports individuals who have immense popularity but have not got a little ethic. They use drugs in their games with the purpose of performing better and win the match.

Besides

that, many sportsmen try to be popular and wealthy by participating in advertisements in the media.

Consequently

, young

people

who follow them may misunderstand that making money is the priority for their role models. To summarize, I believe that sportsmen or sportswomen play negative as positive roles in the cognitive process of youth. A renowned athlete for his healthy living always deserves to be an example for everyone. In contrary to that, if the participants have a requirement to be well-known

people

to make more money, they will be not worthy for us to go after.

Submitted by duongsnccv on Thu Aug 19 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Do you believe that professional athletes make good role models for young people Give specific reason and explain them with examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that children should be given lessons on how to manage money in the school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?