some people think that art is an essential subject for child at school, while other think it is a waste of time. Discuss both side and give your opinion.

#people #art #child #school #waste #time #side

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Some people argue that

art

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lessons

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should be removed from schools,

while

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others believe that

art

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is a crucial subject for

children

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within the educational system. I firmly believe that

art

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should be an integral part of school curricula. On one hand, many believe that careers in

art

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such

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as those of musicians, painters, and photographers, are less lucrative compared to professions like engineering or medicine. A significant number of parents in Asia prioritize major

subjects

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such

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as math, languages, and science over sports or

art

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, believing these

subjects

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are essential for survival in a competitive society and crucial for gaining admission to prestigious universities.

Consequently

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, they prefer to allocate more time to these core

subjects

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by eliminating

art

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classes.

On the other hand

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art

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education plays a vital role in fostering creativity among

children

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Art

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allows adults to gain insights into a child’s deeper thoughts and emotions, which can be reflected through the

colors

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colours

show examples

they use and the

subjects

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they choose to depict in their artwork.

For instance

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, teachers have sometimes identified cases where

children

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were experiencing bullying or were victims of sexual assault through the themes and elements present in their drawings.

Moreover

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children

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are not bound by societal conventions, enabling them to produce work that adults may find unimaginable.

Thus

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art

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lessons

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are crucial for enhancing

children

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's creative capacities. In conclusion,

although

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many argue that

art

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lessons

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are unnecessary and do not prepare

children

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for future challenges, I believe that

art

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education is essential. Not only does it enhance

children

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's imagination, but it

also

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provides a vital avenue for identifying and addressing serious issues affecting

children

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such

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as abuse or neglect.

Hence

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art

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lessons

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play a critical role in the holistic development of young learners.

Submitted by h14030013 on Mon Apr 22 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to include more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and flow.

task achievement

Consider incorporating a wider range of vocabulary, especially with synonyms for key terms, to demonstrate lexical resource.

task achievement

To enrich your argument, maybe bring in some statistical evidence or findings from studies that support the impact of art on children's development.

coherence cohesion

Effective use of paragraphing to separate and emphasize your points.

coherence cohesion

Clear introduction and conclusion that bookend your argument well.

task achievement

Your essay effectively covers the requirement to discuss both views as well as providing your own opinion, contributing to a complete response.

task achievement

Good use of examples to support your points, making your arguments more persuasive and comprehensive.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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some people think that art is an essential subject for child at school, while other think it is a waste of time. Discuss both side and give your opinion.

In the modern world. it is no longer neccesary to use animals as food and in other products like clothing and medicines. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that a new language should be invented for people from different countries to use for international communication. Do the advantages outweigh its drawbacks?

Some people believe that the only purpose for anyone to learn a second language is to travel or work abroad. Others argue that this is not the only purpose why someone needs to learn a second language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

In many developing countries today, air pollution is a major issue. What are the causes and what measures could be taken to prevent this problem in the future

Some people think the government should not spend on international aid because there are disadvantaged people in their countries, such as the unemployed and homeless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?