The growing number of overweight people is putting strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum. To what extend do you agree?

These days, the number of
people
subjected to obesity skyrockets due to a modern lifestyle, junk foods, and less exercise. It is a debatable topic whether educating students about healthcare in school subjects is the effective approach to reduce
this
health problem or not? In
this
essay, I will discuss the reasons why we should teach our
people
to properly take care of their health, and express strong agreement on
this
matter. In order to decrease the number of overweight
people
,
schools
play a vital role to distribute
knowledge
about healthcare including calorie uptake evaluation, effective cardio, and proper exercise. From my experiences, some
people
still have the mindset that fruits cannot make you fat, which is wrong. the factors that affect your body weight are the input and output of calories. If you eat less than your body need, you will succeed in decreasing bodyweight.
Therefore
,
knowledge
is important for
people
who want to be healthy.
Moreover
, another basic lesson
that is
compulsory for
people
is proper exercise. To efficiently reduce body fat, we need to know how to do cardio and weight lifting for building muscles. Despite abundant
knowledge
posting on the internet,
schools
should play a key role to encourage students to have the idea to improve themselves.
For example
,
schools
organize the sports day, which allows the student to play sport together, and provide the reward to the winners. Obviously, distributing physical
knowledge
in school have significant effects on
people
to be in shape. In conclusion, the problem of overweight
people
can be decreased easily by educating
people
about nutritional intake, and workout as one of the crucial lessons in
schools
.
As a result
,
people
gain more awareness of obesity's consequences, and know how to deal with it properly
Submitted by prokoh_ja_555 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: