Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Experts throughout both the developing and developed world have debated whether the advent of sophisticated modern
technology
such
as mobile phones, laptops and iPad have helped to enhance and improve
people
's social lives or whether the opposite has become the case. Personally, I strongly advocate the former view.
This
essay will discuss both sides using examples from the UK government and Oxford University to demonstrate points and prove arguments. On the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
there is ample, powerful, almost daily evidence that
such
technology
can be detrimental especially to the younger generation who are more easily affected by
it’s
Replace the word
its
show examples
addictive nature and which can result in
people
feeling more isolated from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. The central reason behind
this
is twofold,
firstly
, the invention of online social media sites and apps,
such
as Twitter and Facebook have reduced crucial face-to-face interactions dramatically. Through
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
of these appealing and attractive mediums,
people
feel in touch and connected yet lack key social skills and the ability to communicate.
Secondly
, dependence on
such
devices is built up frighteningly easily which may have a damaging effect on mental health and encourage a sedentary lifestyle.
For example
, recent scientific research by the UK government demonstrated that 90% of
people
in their 30s spend over 20 hours per week on Messenger and similar applications to chat with their friends
instead
of meeting up and spending quality time together or doing sport.
As a result
, it is conclusively clear that these
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
advancements have decreased and diminished our
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
interactions.
On the other hand
,
although
there are significant downsides to technological developments, its’ multifold advantages cannot be denied.
This
is
largely
Replace the adverb
large
show examples
because the popularity of
technology
such
as cellphones allows
people
to connect freely and easily with no geographical barriers.
People
are able to share any type of news, information, photos and opinions with their loved ones whenever and wherever they want
therefore
keeping a feeling of proximity and closeness.
For example
, an extensive study by Oxford University illustrated that
people
who work, or study abroad and use applications like Facetime and WhatsApp to chat with their families, are less likely to experience loneliness and feel out of the loop than those who do not. Consistent with
this
line of thinking is that businessmen are
also
undoubtedly able to benefit from these advances by holding virtual
Add a hyphen
real-time
show examples
real -time
Correct your spelling
real-time
show examples
meetings using Skype which may increase the chance of closing business deals without the need to fly. From the arguments and examples given I firmly believe that overall communication and mans’ sociability has been advanced enormously due to huge the huge technological progress of the past twenty years and despite some potentially serious health implications which governments should not fail to address, it is predicted that its popularity will continue to flourish in the future.
Submitted by suangpakanun on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social interaction
  • connect
  • communicate
  • video conferencing
  • stay in touch
  • online communities
  • forums
  • like-minded individuals
  • global communication
  • collaboration
  • access to information
  • knowledge
  • bridge the gap
  • social isolation
  • detachment
  • face-to-face communication
  • genuine human connection
  • maintain
  • real-life interactions
  • balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: