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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, young people often decide to work or travel for a time before they start their university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of doing this. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some nations, it is common to find that youngsters prefer to
work
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 or travel for some time before starting their university education. There are various pros and cons of
this
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 trend that will be discussed in the following paragraphs
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along
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, along
show examples
 with relevant examples. There are numerous benefits of travelling. It helps individuals to broaden their perspective, meet new people and
experience
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 new cultures. Especially at a time when an individual has to make a life-changing decision
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such
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, such
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 as which college to join or which course to choose, it is worth exploring the outside world before settling for something.
Similarly
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, getting some hands-on
experience
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 before starting
the
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apply
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university helps youngsters get a realistic picture of the
work
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 they will be doing post theirs under graduation.
For example
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, a friend of mine was very fascinated with sales and marketing
and
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, and
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 he was fortunate enough to get an opportunity to
work
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 in the same role before college. The
experience
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,
however
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, changed his mind
and
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, and
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 he ended up picking computer science
instead
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. On the flip side, there are some disadvantages associated with the approach. Youngsters can lose precious time in exploring
especially
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, especially
show examples
 in cases where they
could not
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cannot
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 find anything worthwhile.
Moreover
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, the kind of
work
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 people get might not be
the
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an
show examples
 accurate representation of
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work
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the work
show examples
 they would have got post their undergrad.
For instance
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, it is difficult for an individual to
experience
Use synonyms
 what a doctor does without any formal training.
To conclude
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 , working or travelling before university has its own set of advantages and disadvantages. Some of these have been discussed above.

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task response
Add a clear plan in the intro and a strong restatement in the end so your view is clear.
coherence
Make each paragraph about one main idea. Start with a simple topic sentence, then give two or three sentences of proof or example.
examples
Give more details for each point and use real, precise examples to show how they help your view.
grammar
Check spaces and marks. Use short, easy sentences with correct grammar to avoid mistakes.
idea
The essay shows a clear view that both travel and work can shape a student choice.
structure
It has two sides: good and bad, and it uses examples.
support
Examples are used to back up points.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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