Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no special knowledge of the following topic. Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

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Recently, the number of diseases that impact children has skyrocketed. One good thing is, a lot of companies in the world found the
vaccine
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for these diseases.
However
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, there was a continuous debate about whether
immunization
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should be made compulsory, or optional. In
this
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essay, I will discuss my own experience about why vaccination should be made compulsory. In the modern world, with the increase in the number of infections that are affecting the younger generations. The authorities should take the necessary steps to stop the impacts of these illnesses and to make the people immunize their offspring. It should be the responsibility of the law to educate the backward communities on the importance of
immunization
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.
For Instance
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, a few years back, In my village there was an outbreak of Polio, and several kids died because they were not vaccinated for
this
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disease. Later that year, the government conducted some live demonstration camps and educated the people of my village about the importance of
immunization
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for younger generations. Since
then
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there have been no deaths recorded
due to
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Polio.
On the other hand
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, some crowds believed that
this
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kind of
vaccine
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may negatively impact their child's health, and can cause organ damage, and bone deformations.
For example
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,
Last
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year, in China, a lot of newborns were hospitalized because of a
vaccine
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that was given by the doctors, upon investigation, It was found that lack of proper clinical trials, and research were the reasons for
this
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outbreak. As the younger generations are the future, the officials should teach the parents about the side effects the
vaccine
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might bring, explain the importance of vaccination, and impose certain fines for people who do not vaccinate their children.
To conclude
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, Every parent should get their child vaccinated, whether they believe in
immunization
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or not. At the same time, the government should conduct clinical trials and proper research before giving the
vaccine
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to children.
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Task Achievement
To enhance your score in Task Achievement, it's critical to ensure that your essay fully addresses the task. This includes discussing both sides of the argument thoroughly - the necessity of compulsory vaccination and the right to choose - along with an impartial conclusion. Your essay leans heavily towards supporting obligatory immunisation without equally considering the choice aspect. Balance your argument by exploring both perspectives equally and offering a neutral, reasoned conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, strive for a more logically structured flow of ideas. Begin with a clear introduction that presents the topic and your essay's stance. Organize your body paragraphs thematically, dedicating each to different aspects of the discussion. Use effective linking words to connect your ideas and ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Conclude with a summary that encapsulates your argument and reflects on the discussion. Additionally, work on maintaining a consistent thematic direction throughout the essay to enhance understanding and engagement.
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