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Writing Samples
Band 5

The children have unsupervised access to Internet and socialize with others that can lead to dangerous consequences

#children #access #internet #consequences
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The
parents
Use synonyms
 are being criticized for giving
children
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 unsupervised access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 to interact with others, surf bad websites, use social media and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
play games. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will shed the light on disadvantages of the unsupervised access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 and how we can tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue.
Firstly
Linking Words
, without the supervision of
parents
Use synonyms
Internet
Use synonyms
 access can lead to dangerous consequences
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 due to the fact they can socialize with hackers and kidnappers that put them at risk personally and financially.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
children
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 visit paragraph Websites secretly as
result
Add an article
a result
show examples
 of it they become addicted to browse these sites and put
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
Replace the word
effect
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affect
Correct your spelling
effect
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 on their body and brain.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, they love to play games but some
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
 can be threatening.
For instance
Linking Words
, fire fairy and blue whale took
life
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the life
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 of two
children
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 in Lahore and was reported in
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
. Fourthly,
children
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 may try adventurous sports and risky experiments which are viral on social media
such
Linking Words
 as jumping into rivers has taken
life
Add an article
the life
a life
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 of many. We can do few things to solve
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon
such
Linking Words
 as
Internet
Use synonyms
 service providers give
parents
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 control options
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 can be used and there are many
softwares
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software
software's
 are available that block and restrict unwanted materials.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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parents
Use synonyms
 should indulge with
children
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 online activities, in
this
Linking Words
 way they can keep eye on them. The
parents
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 can ensure they use inter for knowledge and entertainments purposes. In
Correct article usage
a nutshell
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nutshell
Add a comma
,nutshell
show examples
Internet
Use synonyms
 is
unsecured
Add an article
the unsecured
an unsecured
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 place for kids where they encounter plenty of threatening situations.
Parents
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 should set
time
Add an article
a time
show examples
limit
Fix the agreement mistake
limits
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of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their use and keep eye on their
children
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by naila.shafique111 on

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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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