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Writing Samples /
Band 3

Many countries consider eighteen-year-olds to be adults, while other countries don’t. What do you think about it? Give your opinion and some relevant examples based on your own experience.

#countries #eighteen-year-olds #adults #don’t
In most countries ,
eighteen-years-old
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eighteen years old
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 is the age for a person to be considered
adult
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an adult
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 .
This
 is a
stage
 where most teenagers who
are now became
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now become
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Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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adult
 are conscious enough
for
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of
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 their actions and know the difference between good and bad . A person who
turn
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turns
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 eighteen
have
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has
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spend
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spent
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 fourteen years in school where he or she is thought about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society , how to live in a community, and how to make decisions according to oneself opinion.
For example
 , in high school , teachers prepare us to face university by asking us about our future career and
also
 giving us knowledge about different the world .
This
 is where most teenagers
are now call
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are now called
are now calling
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 students and are free to make
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 own choices .
This
 makes them responsible and
self conscious
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self-conscious
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 of their actions .
Moreover
, according to biology, at the age of 18, male and female have
reach
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reached
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 their
full body
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full-body
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 development, which
make
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makes
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 their body systems reaching the level of maturity. At
this
stage
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,stage
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a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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teenagers are now considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
an adult
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adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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 because their reproductive system is matured enough to start
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adulthood which is getting married and having children. To conclude, being an
adult
 demand a mental
stage
 of decision making and being responsible.
This
 does not exclude the fact that our body appearance
also
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 our new
stage
 of adulthood.
Submitted by Birguit Avagbo on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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