Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

There are many concerned individuals who feel that

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crowds from various cultures and generations can be brought together through

music

. Others,

however

, feel that it can not be a proper way of connecting our society. I completely agree with the former statement and in

this

essay, I will support my view with examples. In today's world,

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the

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song

has become a way of communicating our feelings and thoughts. Sometimes, we struggle to find words to convey our emotions and at that time we just prefer to go with a suitable

song

that can do the magic. For example, On an independence day celebration, we often play patriotic songs to encourage our young generations or during a festival celebration, we tend to listen to hymns.

Moreover

, nowadays, due to modern technology, we can hear a

song

from any corner of the world.

For instance

, If we use a

music

-based application, we can search for any

song

that we want to hear. One

such

example is the Gaana Application. In

this

software, we can look for a

song

sung by a famous artist from other countries.

In Addition

to that, there are many

music

-based shows where anyone can participate irrespective of his religion or country.

Such

television series can become a great reason for overcoming religious differences and teach us to value human talents.

Moreover

, we can use

music

to grow our creativity and assist us to become more expressive. In recent ,studies it has been proven that

music

can help an individual to fight his fear and anxiety. In conclusion, even though we can still notice a significant amount of gap between two communities, I strongly believe that

music

has the strength to combine human beings of different backgrounds.

Submitted by shreyaraut1996 on Thu Aug 19 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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