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Band 6

These days, there is too much plastic in our oceans, which negatively affects marine life. What are the reasons for this, and how can this situation be improved?

#plastic #oceans #marine #life #situation
Plastic
 has been used for various purposes in society for a long time because it is an effective material. It is common for people to throw away their garbage, including
plastic
,
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the river and sea carelessly, affecting marine life and its whole ecosystem. Many reasons are leading to
this
 event and some ways to prevent it will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, inadequate
waste
 management is essential in uncontrolled amounts of
plastic
waste
 in oceans. Many industries do not pay enough attention to their
waste
 management, including
plastic
 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
waste
 will end up in many places, including the ocean.
In addition
, we encounter many problems as one in three lands on earth are covered by
plastic
, including coastlines
such
 as Jakarta.
Therefore
,
plastic
waste
 is a severe problem that will harm marine and human life.
Secondly
, many people are unaware of the negative impacts of
plastic
waste
 in the ocean, and they develop habits of throwing away garbage carelessly into the sea.
This
 event will likely happen in developed countries
such
 as Africa and Indonesia, where they do not receive any useful information and education regarding
this
 problem.
As a result
, many parts of their land, including coastlines, are mostly covered by plastics.
Plastic
waste
 is a major problem that needs to be addressed because of its impacts on marine life and society.
However
, there are many ways to prevent it,
such
 as
waste
-managing machines and recycling. Many non-governmental organizations and private sectors have been making efforts to reduce
plastic
waste
 in the ocean by using big machines that can collect tons of garbage quickly.
On the other hand
, the locals are playing their role by recycling plastics into something useful,
such
 as shopping bags and sandals.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear logical structure, using cohesive devices effectively to guide the reader from one idea to the next with clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Introduce the topic effectively and summarize the main points in the conclusion to ensure that both introduction and conclusion are purposeful and enhance the overall message of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with appropriate and effective explanations, arguments or examples to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic addressed.
task achievement
Provide a complete response to the task prompt, covering all aspects with sufficient detail and depth to showcase a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Organize ideas clearly and comprehensively, ensuring that each paragraph expresses a clear main idea that contributes to the overall argument or purpose of the essay.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples or evidence to support the main ideas, enhancing the persuasiveness and substantiation of the arguments presented in the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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