Some people think that children should follow their parents’ advice, however, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There are opposing views about following parental advice by
children
which one group
is agree
Change the verb form
agrees
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with and the other refute
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. It seems to me,
children
must possess their own style to live. On the one hand, the advocates of parents’ advice
believes
Change the verb form
believe
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that the mothers and fathers recognize right from wrong more effectively. A case in point is that they know how to spend their money in a beneficial way or invest much more than the young.
Furthermore
, the parents are more experienced
such
that they have had several years to test variable situations in their
life
. Some of these experiences helped them to promote in their job or
life
and some fell them into trouble.
On the other hand
, the opponent may argue that following the sheer parents’ instruction has its disadvantages
such
as the fact that it destroys youth’s self-confidence and leads them to become independent when they grow up.
For instance
,
this
lack of confidence shows itself once they want to marry and establish their independent
life
from their immediate family, they will have many headaches communicating with their spouse.
Moreover
, following only parental guidance without taking any risks is likely to demolish the
children
’s innovation. The worst effect of
this
is the fear of doing anything new;
therefore
, there will be no improvement in the career,
for example
. From my point of view, while parents’ advice may depict a certain way to the
children
these kinds of guidance cannot make better members for society. Each person should have his or her own
life
-style by acting in their own way to be happy starting from their childhood.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
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the world is expanding via new events and facilities which our ancestors did not face.
Thus
we need more confident and dependent people with innovative ideas to match with new technologies and make the world a better place to live. In conclusion,
although
following in parents’ footsteps may assist
children
in their
life
, it may put down their independence which is destructive in my opinion
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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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