Some people think that the government should fund creative people such as artists and musicians due to the benefits they provide to society, other people believe that as they enjoy their work they should have received no government funding. Discuss both sides.
In recent decades,
artists
have played a prominent role in the act that contributes to social welfare. To Use synonyms
this
end, whether or not they should be paid by the government remains under discussion. Linking Words
While
a school of thought holds that if they are self-sustainable financially, there should not be governmental involvement, others argue that their contributions deserve monetary support from the state. I strongly agree with the latter for 2 main reasons which Linking Words
this
essay aims to discuss.
It is understandable why a portion of society does not tolerate funding from the authority to Linking Words
artists
and musicians as there are undoubtedly other urgent sectors that should be invested in. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
this
is simply untrue Linking Words
due to
the Linking Words
meager
amount of money it would require to significantly support art makers. Change the spelling
meagre
This
is evidenced by Japan, where multiple government-owned philanthropy organizations started subsidizing free accommodation and sustenance for manga Linking Words
artists
in late 2018. Use synonyms
As a result
, the anime business skyrocketed in terms of revenue and laid a foundation for its immense success in recent years on the global market.
There are various reasons why the state should monetarily aid music producers and Linking Words
artists
, but the following statements proved to be the most rational. Use synonyms
Firstly
, historical art and music tremendously contribute to a country's cultural identity, and funding their makers is a way to preserve and bolster the culture. Linking Words
Moreover
, Linking Words
this
irrefutably advertises the nation's culture on a worldwide scale, which inadvertently acts as the bedrock for a thriving tourism industry and Linking Words
consequently
boosts the economy. Second of all, arts and crafts firmly ensure social welfare by means of providing adequate entertainment for all genders and ages. Linking Words
For example
, in recent years, records show that Vietnam spends one in ten of its yearly GDP on cultural art and music which made its citizens' happiness levels surge drastically Linking Words
according to
numerous researches,
In conclusion, though some people believe that Linking Words
artists
and musicians should not be financially supported by the authority, I am of the concrete belief that by investing in these individuals, the government is indirectly laying the bedrock for a prosperous nation.Use synonyms
Submitted by nghjnguyendanh on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
You have demonstrated a clear understanding of the topic and provided a well-structured argument. To further improve, try to ensure that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next. This can be achieved through more explicit linking phrases or transitional sentences that clearly show how each idea connects to the next.
task achievement
Your essay strongly addresses the task with comprehensive ideas and relevant examples. However, further enhancement could be achieved by including a wider range of specific examples to support each point more thoroughly. While the examples given are relevant and contribute to your argument, additional detail or a broader selection could add depth to your discussion.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay opens with a clear introduction and concludes effectively, framing your argument well and making your stance clear.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay is commendable. It guides the reader through your arguments in a coherent and understandable way.
clear comprehensive ideas
You've successfully communicated clear, comprehensive ideas, making your stance on the issue and your arguments easy to understand.
relevant specific examples
The use of specific examples, such as the impact of government funding on Japan's anime business and the investments in Vietnam's cultural arts, significantly strengthens your argument.