Some people think that the government should fund creative people such as artists and musicians due to the benefits they provide to society, other people believe that as they enjoy their work they should have received no government funding. Discuss both sides.

In recent decades,
artists
have played a prominent role in the act that contributes to social welfare. To
this
end, whether or not they should be paid by the government remains under discussion.
While
a school of thought holds that if they are self-sustainable financially, there should not be governmental involvement, others argue that their contributions deserve monetary support from the state. I strongly agree with the latter for 2 main reasons which
this
essay aims to discuss. It is understandable why a portion of society does not tolerate funding from the authority to
artists
and musicians as there are undoubtedly other urgent sectors that should be invested in.
However
,
this
is simply untrue
due to
the
meager
Change the spelling
meagre
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amount of money it would require to significantly support art makers.
This
is evidenced by Japan, where multiple government-owned philanthropy organizations started subsidizing free accommodation and sustenance for manga
artists
in late 2018.
As a result
, the anime business skyrocketed in terms of revenue and laid a foundation for its immense success in recent years on the global market. There are various reasons why the state should monetarily aid music producers and
artists
, but the following statements proved to be the most rational.
Firstly
, historical art and music tremendously contribute to a country's cultural identity, and funding their makers is a way to preserve and bolster the culture.
Moreover
,
this
irrefutably advertises the nation's culture on a worldwide scale, which inadvertently acts as the bedrock for a thriving tourism industry and
consequently
boosts the economy. Second of all, arts and crafts firmly ensure social welfare by means of providing adequate entertainment for all genders and ages.
For example
, in recent years, records show that Vietnam spends one in ten of its yearly GDP on cultural art and music which made its citizens' happiness levels surge drastically
according to
numerous researches, In conclusion, though some people believe that
artists
and musicians should not be financially supported by the authority, I am of the concrete belief that by investing in these individuals, the government is indirectly laying the bedrock for a prosperous nation.
Submitted by nghjnguyendanh on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Your essay strongly addresses the task with comprehensive ideas and relevant examples. However, further enhancement could be achieved by including a wider range of specific examples to support each point more thoroughly. While the examples given are relevant and contribute to your argument, additional detail or a broader selection could add depth to your discussion.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay opens with a clear introduction and concludes effectively, framing your argument well and making your stance clear.
logical structure
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clear comprehensive ideas
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relevant specific examples
The use of specific examples, such as the impact of government funding on Japan's anime business and the investments in Vietnam's cultural arts, significantly strengthens your argument.

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