Some people think that the government should fund creative people such as artists and musicians due to the benefits they provide to society, other people believe that as they enjoy their work they should have received no government funding. Discuss both sides.

#people #government #fund #artists #musicians #society #work

In recent decades,

artists

have played a prominent role in the act that contributes to social welfare. To

this

end, whether or not they should be paid by the government remains under discussion.

While

a school of thought holds that if they are self-sustainable financially, there should not be governmental involvement, others argue that their contributions deserve monetary support from the state. I strongly agree with the latter for 2 main reasons which

this

essay aims to discuss. It is understandable why a portion of society does not tolerate funding from the authority to

artists

and musicians as there are undoubtedly other urgent sectors that should be invested in.

However

this

is simply untrue

due to

the

meager

Change the spelling

meagre

show examples

amount of money it would require to significantly support art makers.

This

is evidenced by Japan, where multiple government-owned philanthropy organizations started subsidizing free accommodation and sustenance for manga

artists

in late 2018.

As a result

, the anime business skyrocketed in terms of revenue and laid a foundation for its immense success in recent years on the global market. There are various reasons why the state should monetarily aid music producers and

artists

, but the following statements proved to be the most rational.

Firstly

, historical art and music tremendously contribute to a country's cultural identity, and funding their makers is a way to preserve and bolster the culture.

Moreover

this

irrefutably advertises the nation's culture on a worldwide scale, which inadvertently acts as the bedrock for a thriving tourism industry and

consequently

boosts the economy. Second of all, arts and crafts firmly ensure social welfare by means of providing adequate entertainment for all genders and ages.

For example

, in recent years, records show that Vietnam spends one in ten of its yearly GDP on cultural art and music which made its citizens' happiness levels surge drastically

according to

numerous researches, In conclusion, though some people believe that

artists

and musicians should not be financially supported by the authority, I am of the concrete belief that by investing in these individuals, the government is indirectly laying the bedrock for a prosperous nation.

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coherence cohesion

You have demonstrated a clear understanding of the topic and provided a well-structured argument. To further improve, try to ensure that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next. This can be achieved through more explicit linking phrases or transitional sentences that clearly show how each idea connects to the next.

task achievement

Your essay strongly addresses the task with comprehensive ideas and relevant examples. However, further enhancement could be achieved by including a wider range of specific examples to support each point more thoroughly. While the examples given are relevant and contribute to your argument, additional detail or a broader selection could add depth to your discussion.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay opens with a clear introduction and concludes effectively, framing your argument well and making your stance clear.

logical structure

The logical structure of your essay is commendable. It guides the reader through your arguments in a coherent and understandable way.

clear comprehensive ideas

You've successfully communicated clear, comprehensive ideas, making your stance on the issue and your arguments easy to understand.

relevant specific examples

The use of specific examples, such as the impact of government funding on Japan's anime business and the investments in Vietnam's cultural arts, significantly strengthens your argument.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

349 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the government should fund creative people such as artists and musicians due to the benefits they provide to society, other people believe that as they enjoy their work they should have received no government funding. Discuss both sides.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry payment and land. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Some people believe that every human can create art. Other people think that art can only be created by people with special talents. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agrée or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that women should play an equal role as Men in a country's police force or military force, such as the army, while others think women are not suitable for this kind of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that keeping pets is beneficial for longevity while others believe that household animals are not healthy for people to have as companions. Discuss both sides of the argument and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.