IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In certain parts of the world, high
school
Use synonyms
 graduates are encouraged to take a gap
year
Use synonyms
 before commencing tertiary education.
This
Linking Words
 essay is going to explore the
benefits
Use synonyms
 and
drawbacks
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
. Taking a gap
year
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 or travel has great
benefits
Use synonyms
 to youngsters. By working, they can gain valuable working experience which can help them in their job applications in the future.
For example
Linking Words
, a business major can better understand business principles if he has previous experience working as an assistant to the secretary. Taking a
year
Use synonyms
 off to travel before going to
college
Use synonyms
 can help
one
Use synonyms
 learn important life skills by living independently.
For example
Linking Words
, during my
one
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 stay in London, I developed the habit of saving and spending wisely.
Therefore
Linking Words
 it is obvious that a gap
year
Use synonyms
benefits
Use synonyms
 the youngsters.
However
Linking Words
, there are
drawbacks
Use synonyms
 to young people working or travelling for a
year
Use synonyms
 before enrolling in a tertiary institution.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, a
year
Use synonyms
 is a long time to stay off
school
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
. If the tempo of studying and going to
school
Use synonyms
 is lost,
one
Use synonyms
 might find it difficult to cope in
college
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, my friend who took a
six month
Add a hyphen
six-month
show examples
 break before going to
college
Use synonyms
 found it a little bit hard to study which affected his grades.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, youngsters might be demotivated to go back to
school
Use synonyms
 once they start earning money because they believe that earning money is more important. According to a study conducted by researchers
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 of Braham, it was revealed that about 30% of high
school
Use synonyms
 graduates who took a
year
Use synonyms
 off to
work
Use synonyms
 before starting
college
Use synonyms
 decided to continue working rather than getting a degree.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is obvious that
this
Linking Words
 trend of staying off
school
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 for a
year
Use synonyms
 before applying to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
tertiary education has its own
drawbacks
Use synonyms
. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
 there are
benefits
Use synonyms
working
Change preposition
to working
show examples
 or travelling for
one
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 before enrolling in a
college
Use synonyms
, the
drawbacks
Use synonyms
 cannot be overlooked.
Submitted by ieltsmaterialof on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: