IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Prisons are an expensive way of making bad people worse’ To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#prisons #people #worse’
It's believed by many that, jails are a waste of money and are only useful for making criminals worse.
This
 essay completely agrees with the given statement because there are various facilities available to them and bad influences.
To begin
 with, sometimes prisons become a place where an underprivileged person, who don't even have a place to stay or food to eat, can fill their stomach and have a roof on their head. They see lookups as a site to spend a night and eat food without paying a single dime.
For example
, a recent survey conducted by "ABP NEWS" shows that 40% of small-time criminals in prison indulge in criminal activity so that they can have some food, either by stealing some money or by getting caught.
As a result
, they don't even try to live a crime-free life.
Moreover
, You can never hope that someone would come out of an area filled with mud without getting dirty.
Similarly
, lock up is a hole filled with the worst kinds of scums, so a criminal walking in there will only become more like them.
For instance
, let's talk about a very famous incident where "Aman" was wrongly accused of a crime and was sent to jail. It took 2 years to prove his innocence, but the time he spent inside completely changed him, while living with the real culprit he was forced to become one himself. A place that was supposed to improve wrongdoers, converted an innocent man and made him an offender. To conclude, I agree that holding cells are just for show, all they do is make felons worse because people have stopped improving their living conditions.
Submitted by Ashish kumar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: