Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Smartphones
are becoming something that kids
spend a large chunk of their time
on daily. In my opinion, this
happened because smartphone is an easy source of entertainment. This
essay believes that this
is a negative development, because the overuse of smartphones
would have negative health
impacts.
Smartphones
are becoming an easy source of entertainment for children
. With the advancement of technology, smartphones
are slowly but surely becoming a big part of our daily lives. Not only used by adults, it is also
used by children
. Aside from the fact that it helps guardians to be able to track and communicate with their kids
, it also
keeps the children
entertained for a long period of time
. As an example, platforms like TikTok and YouTube have a large collection videos that can be enjoyed by a range of different ages, and do not forget about the vast amount of mobile games available for free.
However
, the prolonged use of smartphones
can have negative impacts. The small size of phones makes people tend to look at the screen up close in a crouching position. If used prolongedly, this
can lead to health
problems such
as worse vision or back pain. It also
reduces the motivation for kids
to play outside, because they are already content playing on their phones. A recent study shows that kids
now spend the majority of their time
indoors, rather than outdoors. Spending time
outdoors have a range of health
benefits. The exposure to sun gives us important vitamins for us to stay healthy, and it also
gives children
a chance to exercise which is one of the main aspects of a healthy lifestyle.
In conclusion, smartphones
are a form of technology that is
now used for a long period of time
in children
’s daily lives. This
development happens because smartphones
are an easy entertainment source for children
. This
trend of overusing smartphones
can lead to some negative impacts to children
’s health
.Submitted by acupofbrownsugar
on
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introduction
Ensure that your introduction provides a clear overview of the main points you will discuss. Avoid overly simplistic statements.
coherence
Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas together more clearly throughout the essay to achieve better coherence.
task achievement
Support your main points with a wider range of examples and develop these further to enhance task achievement.
argument balance
Try to offer a more nuanced argument that acknowledges both the causes and the effects of the issue with equal emphasis.
conclusion
Consider including a more developed conclusion that not only summarizes the main points but also offers a final thought or recommendation on the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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