Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Smartphones

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are becoming something that

kids

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spend a large chunk of their

time

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on daily. In my opinion,

this

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happened because smartphone is an easy source of entertainment.

This

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essay believes that

this

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is a negative development, because the overuse of

smartphones

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would have negative

health

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impacts.

Smartphones

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are becoming an easy source of entertainment for

children

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. With the advancement of technology,

smartphones

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are slowly but surely becoming a big part of our daily lives. Not only used by adults, it is

also

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used by

children

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. Aside from the fact that it helps guardians to be able to track and communicate with their

kids

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, it

also

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keeps the

children

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entertained for a long period of

time

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. As an example, platforms like TikTok and YouTube have a large collection videos that can be enjoyed by a range of different ages, and do not forget about the vast amount of mobile games available for free.

However

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, the prolonged use of

smartphones

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can have negative impacts. The small size of phones makes people tend to look at the screen up close in a crouching position. If used prolongedly,

this

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can lead to

health

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problems

such

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as worse vision or back pain. It

also

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reduces the motivation for

kids

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to play outside, because they are already content playing on their phones. A recent study shows that

kids

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now spend the majority of their

time

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indoors, rather than outdoors. Spending

time

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outdoors have a range of

health

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benefits. The exposure to sun gives us important vitamins for us to stay healthy, and it

also

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gives

children

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a chance to exercise which is one of the main aspects of a healthy lifestyle. In conclusion,

smartphones

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are a form of technology

that is

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now used for a long period of

time

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children

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’s daily lives.

This

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development happens because

smartphones

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are an easy entertainment source for

children

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This

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trend of overusing

smartphones

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can lead to some negative impacts to

children

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’s

health

Use synonyms

Submitted by acupofbrownsugar on Wed Jan 24 2024

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coherence

Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas together more clearly throughout the essay to achieve better coherence.

task achievement

Support your main points with a wider range of examples and develop these further to enhance task achievement.

argument balance

Try to offer a more nuanced argument that acknowledges both the causes and the effects of the issue with equal emphasis.

conclusion

Consider including a more developed conclusion that not only summarizes the main points but also offers a final thought or recommendation on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

324 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?

Discuss the role of standardized testing in education. Are these tests an effective measure of a student's abilities?

The only way to improve safety on our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. What extent do you agree or disagree

Our personalities are predefined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing can be done to change our character traits to what extent do you agree?