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Band 5.5

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measure are required

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measure
Presently, some believe that increasing the number of
sports
facilities
 is the most effective method to improve public
health
.
However
, it is
also
 argued that
this
 way has little impact, and the government should employ other alternative methods. I will discuss both points of view, followed by my opinion in
this
 essay. The supporters of the idea that the governments ought to provide
people
 with more
sports
facilities
 say that
this
 method allows
people
 to gain easier access to
sports
 and
exercise
. An enormous number of
people
 today have difficulty in accessing regular
exercise
 because of the fitness centres’ expensive fees and distance.
Consequently
, an increase in free-of-charge
sports
facilities
 tends to improve public
accessibility
Replace the word
access
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
and stimulate interest in regular
exercise
. Thereby, the popularity of exercising will be resumed, resulting in increased healthiness. The opponents,
however
, argue that the inaccessibility to
sports
 centres is not the main factor in the declining rate of
health
, but a harmful
lifestyle
. A healthy
lifestyle
 is a true answer to enhanced
health
 because only doing
exercise
 is not sufficient to acquire physical wellness.
In addition
 to
this
, effective
health
 requires other contributions
such
 as a healthy diet and quality sleeping, and so on. Individuals should be educated about the significance of practising a healthy
lifestyle
 and the potential dangers of spoiling their lives, through schools and campaigns run either by the authorities or the private sectors. Effective knowledge of pursuing a healthy
lifestyle
 can effectively promote public
health
 in the long run, In conclusion, from my perspective, both views are equally valid. For one thing, an increase in the chargeless-access to
sports
facilities
 in number allows regular
exercise
 to be more easily accessible to
people
 from all levels of society. For another, society member’s awareness of living a healthy
lifestyle
 will be
heighted
Correct your spelling
heightened
 which contributes to a long-term solution to public
health
 conditions.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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