IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #health #future
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Whether the population of the world will suffer more
health
Use synonyms
-related problems in future or will they have better immunity is a moot point. In my opinion, the average standard of public's well-being will be lower in the coming years.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is true that people are likely to have more diseases in the future than they have now, the predominant factors which will affect their
health
Use synonyms
 are pollution and their current way of living. Human beings are the sole cause of these factors. The activities performed by them like emitting greenhouse gas and polluting the environment by cutting down the trees is indirectly affecting their
health
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the findings of a survey conducted by the University of Toronto explains that people are likely to have 40 % more
health
Use synonyms
-related issues by the year 2040.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 argued that the food consumed by individuals nowadays will
also
Linking Words
 affect their strength at a later stage. The ingredients contained in most of the package foods are harmful to consume and
although
Linking Words
 people are aware of them they cannot resist themselves to eat them.
For instance
Linking Words
, the result of a study conducted by a group of dietitians in Canada depicts that the eatery consumed by the young population of today's generation will affect their
health
Use synonyms
 and they are likely to live shorter life as compared to their parents or ancestors. To conclude, it is indeed true that a person's average standard
health
Use synonyms
 will be comparatively lower in the coming years than in the present period.
Submitted by rathodshreya2000 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: