In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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The growth of a

country

Use synonyms

is influenced by its many developed cities.

This

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leads to the argument that many

people

Use synonyms

who live in rural areas move to towns and the impacts of reduced population in those zones. In my opinion, it will have negative effects on the future. First of all, the phenomenon is possible to make the proportion of human resources needed in every region unstable. Many

people

Use synonyms

who prefer to stay in cities will be affected by population density and more buildings should be provided because they need the facilities.

For instance

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, the number of citizens of Jakarta, Indonesia increased every year

due to

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rural

people

Use synonyms

migrating looking for a job.

This

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is happened since Jakarta is a capital which has a huge employment field.

However

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, with

this

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growing number which is caused by increased congestion, pollution, and intense competition.

According to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, the village will be the affected area.

Besides

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reducing the population, natural resource management will result in losses. All

this

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time, the rural areas had a big source to fulfil daily needs

such

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as rice processing in the rice fields in the village which was distributed to the entire

country

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. If the number of societies decreases, it will be a major threat to human life. I think the solution is for the government to build equitable facilities in both of the areas so that there is no massive urbanisation that will harm the

country

Use synonyms

itself. In conclusion,

people

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moving from villages to cities in droves, resulting in fewer

people

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, is detrimental to the

country

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and the

people

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themselves for the next generation.

ru.kabiru.biruMon Dec 11 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing both sides of the argument more effectively.

logical structure

There is a basic logical flow to your essay, yet it would benefit from deeper and clearer connections between ideas. Additionally, while the essay follows a standard format, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother.

supported main points

You did provide main points related to the question, but they need to be supported by more developed explanations and specific examples. Expand on the points you make and illustrate them with clear, pertinent examples for a better score.

complete response

Your response addresses the task with relevant information, but the development of ideas is limited. Make sure to fully address all parts of the task with a balanced discussion and a clearer overall position throughout the essay.

clear comprehensive ideas

Ideas are somewhat clear but lack comprehensive development. You should aim to thoroughly explore your ideas. Providing more analysis and elaboration will make them more comprehensive.

relevant specific examples

You've included some examples, but they are general and lack specificity. Use more precise examples to support your points and show a deeper understanding of the topic.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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