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Band 5

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. Why do they think so? What can be done to change their views?

#people #tourism #country #change
Due to
 advancements in technology, air travel has become considerably cheap,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a result, more people are travelling to foreign countries.
However
, many residents hold the view that an increase in
tourism
 is affecting their country negatively.
This
 essay tends to discuss why some inhabitants have negative attitudes towards an increase in travelling and
finally
 provide suggestions to change
this
 view. There are several justifiable reasons why people think that international travel is a bad thing for their homeland. First and foremost,
due to
 the massive influx of tourists, local people are relocated from their locality to provide more buildings for the
tourism
 industry. Even coastal regions and urban areas are being developed to make enough spaces for tourists. Any development involves interference with nature
thus
 contributing to negative impacts on the environment.
For instance
, in 2013 in Uttarakhand, India, there were several devastating landslides and flooding. Researchers came to the conclusion that it was a consequence of the soar in the number of travellers.
Secondly
, more humans in an area
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 rapid depletion of natural resources and an increase in carbon footprints.
Consequently
 affecting the sustainability of the country.
Firstly
, residents should be employed in the travel industry so that they can
also
 benefit from it. If
tourism
 becomes their source of income
then
 they would no longer have any objections to it.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should educate and encourage the public to welcome visitors.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should
also
 enlighten inhabitants
with
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the fact that visitors can help in developing the country and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
raising its
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 status.
Furthermore
, it is an indisputable fact that exposure to cultural diversities helps to broaden a person's horizon.
To conclude
, it is legitimate for citizens to hold grudges for foreigners
due to
 the above-mentioned reasons.
Nevertheless
, if they are informed about the positive impacts of
tourism
, I strongly believe that it should alleviate their resentment.
Submitted by maimunazaman474 on

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coherence cohesion
Attention to proper paragraph structuring is needed to improve the logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt to a fair extent but lacks in providing specific examples to support the ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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