IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

People nowadays are not fit and active than the people from the olden days. Discuss the causes for this situation and suggest some possible solutions

#people #situation
Health problems are a serious complication these days .
However
 , there are innumerable causes pertaining to it and if it all some stringent plans are not formulated and implemented
then
 the problem can even deteriorate and it can tell upon there are many reasons and suggestions of
this
 problems and I hereby give the following arguments to support myself . One of the major acting forces behind is that
firstly
, Nowadays
People
 are busy own their work and they can not go walk and after they are facing a lot of problems .
Such
 as fat increase , infection , blood circle and so on .
In addition
 to
this
 , they are playing more indoor games than, outdoors
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
.
Thus
,
this
 type of reason
people
 is not fit and active . Apart from
this
 , In the present time , most
people
 are depending on new technology and they can not work hard .
For instance
 , In the past time ,
people
 are worked on their own and they did not depend on others and
also
 they were eating traditional
food
 and they were living inactive
on the other hand
 ,
people
 are eating fast
food
 , young
food
 and so on .
Therefore
 ,
this
 type of impact
people
 is suffering health dresses .
Moreover
, as every lock has a key so ,
this
 problem can be stemmed out
Firstly
 , individuals should make the timetable for daily routine and they should avoid western
food
 . After
this
 , they should play outdoors games and
also
 they should depend on their own . So , they can live in a happy mood as well as they can not face any healthy dresses and they can fit and be active in their life . After analyzing the matter , it can not be denied that
this
 problem can be very well and effectively handled with the joint and collaborative efforts of the Governments and society on the whole .
Submitted by manpkaur2019 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: