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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think the manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #manufacturers #malls #products #responsibility
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Whether we like it or not, packaged
product
 is a substantially significant topic that has triggered an untold amount of debate among various folks. Is highly argued by some schools of thought that fewer packaged products should be sold by producers and malls,
However
, it is considered by others that individuals have the responsibility to purchase fewer packaged goods,
while
 the arguments on both sides are compelling, there is in my perspective, the former group sounds more justified. To commence with, those who advocate the latter scenario, wholeheartedly agree, with the view securing a phenomenon,
such
 as human beings, make their own personal decision based on their personal preferences and freedom of choice as a vast majority of the community decide their daily matters
such
 as taking advantages of public transport
instead
 of solo-traveling with their private car to give hand in reducing the usage of fossil fuel. Indeed, the customers as the end users of the
product
 should be encouraged to decide, to purchase fewer package materials.
For instance
, installing a gigantic banner, indicating the detrimental effect of packaged products on the Earth could be a feasible approach for inspiring potential buyers to utilize a cotton shopping bag as a replacement. There is
also
 the flipside, where there are numerous hypotheses regarding the issue that the former group holds. The role of
product
 manufacturers,
as well as
 retailers is undoubtedly indispensable toward packaged
product
 consumption, by eliminating the sales amount of
this
 category of
product
 not only the end price would probably plummet, but
also
 chemical emissions,
such
 as carbon dioxide may decrease.
Furthermore
, governments should regulate the packaged
product
 industry in the same way that they did the alcohol and tobacco industries. All summed up, the necessities,
along with
 the attitudes and attitudes connected to the topics, clarified above, illustrate that enormous importance has been laid on decreasing the sales of packaged products by producers and shopping malls,
although
 people may vary in their point of view, I found countless plus points in a greater scale for
this
 theory.
Submitted by maryam.niknamm on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that the organization of ideas is logical and there is a clear progression throughout the text. Ideas can be further enhanced by appropriate paragraphing and the use of cohesive devices.
Task Achievement
Make certain that the essay adequately covers all parts of the task, giving a balanced view before providing a clear opinion. Your essay should cover both views and end with a reasoned conclusion to fully meet the task requirement.
Task Achievement
Develop main points with an expansion of ideas including more specific examples and discussions. The use of examples is encouraged but should be more precise and relevant to the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on the syntax and sentence structure for improved clarity, and ensure that punctuation is used accurately to support the meaning.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • excessive packaging
  • plastic waste
  • environmental impact
  • sustainable production
  • consumption
  • eco-friendly lifestyle
  • raise awareness
  • informed choices
  • personal carbon footprint
  • prioritize environmental sustainability
  • reduce packaging waste
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