"Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?"

Some

people

argue that

music

could cross genders, generations and nations beyond belonging to an individual or an area. I firmly agree that it is not only one of the effective communications among all the

people

around the world but

also

a way to bridge the gap between different cultures.

Firstly

music

is a universal language, which has an exceptional ability to express a wide range of

people

's common emotions,

such

as happiness, anger and sadness, regardless of their country of origin.

Therefore

, good songs could find an echo in the hearts of many of us. Perhaps the best example would be one of the most famous Olympic theme songs named Hand in Hand, which is the

first

time to impress all the world with the charms of a Korean band.

As a result

, all the opening ceremony participants handed in hands together and started to understand, and

this

was a beautiful and unforgettable day. It is clear evidence that shows the power of

music

Additionally

, just as it transcends cultures,

music

also

can connect

people

of different ages. A memorable melody, a strong rhythm, a pleasant singing voice, and the best songs can always magically affect all of us.

For instance

, it is not surprising to see a family of two or three generations gather to watch sort of "The Voice" singing TV shows, singing and dancing to the same song with much joy.

Therefore

, it is no doubt that

music

is the best formation of entertainment to brings the whole family happiness at the same time. In conclusion, I believe that

music

is unique in its ability to settle the difference between cultures and ages and create understanding and sharing experiences worldwide.

Submitted by kakafeng081 on Sat Aug 21 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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"Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?"

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Nowadays the importance of teachers is diminishing due to increased availability of alternative resources to students. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned be¬cause of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many children these days have unhealthy lifestyle.Both parents and schools are responsible for solving this problem.