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Writing Samples
Band 6

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #children #time
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The development of new technologies
have
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has
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 drastically changed the way children spend their free time.
This
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 fact has both advantages and disadvantages and in
this
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 essay, I will discuss both. In my opinion, I firmly believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages and
that is
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 because the emergence of these new technologies have had bad effects on
the
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apply
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children's health and turned them into lazy sloth bears.
To begin
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 with, the arrival of these modern
machineries
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machinery
types of machinery
pieces of machinery
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 have been beneficial for the little ones. Machines like
,
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apply
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 computers, laptops, tablets, i-phones provide an open window for these little ones to grasp more knowledge and broaden their horizons. In their free time they can read articles, books apart from their academic guides on computers, laptops and learn about geography, astronomy and other things. With the advancement of
science
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,science
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 they can socialise with kids from other countries and learn their cultures and languages.
On the contrary
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, the development of these modern
automations
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automation
 had an immense amount of bad effects on the
kids's
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kids'
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 lives.
For instance
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, in their spare
hours
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,hours
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 they stay indoors playing video games
instead
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 of going out and participating in outdoor activities.
As a result
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, young ones are falling prey to obesity and laziness at a very young age. According to some recent reports and studies in
US
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the US
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heartproblems
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heart problems
, obesity and other ailments have become common in teenagers now. To put it more simply, in the past teenagers used to be more active and their life expectancy rates used to be higher as they used to spend their spare hours playing outdoor games like
,
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 football, cricket and many different sports. To conclude, like the two sides of a coin there are both benefits and downfalls to the emergence of modern
automations
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automation
. As mentioned earlier in the essay, I hold the view that
disadvantages
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the disadvantages
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 of these contemporary
machineries
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machinery
types of machinery
pieces of machinery
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 outweigh the advantages as they have awful effects on children's well-being.
Submitted by maimunazaman474 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital literacy
  • Cyberbullying
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Inappropriate content
  • Self-learning
  • Screen time
  • Social inequality
  • Enhanced communication
  • Creative expression
  • Educational resources
What to do next:
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