IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life?

#people #school #life #case
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
They are many reasons caused some people can not achieve in their early
life
Use synonyms
 like the
school
Use synonyms
 golds,
however
Linking Words
, during adulthood they being a successful person. In
this
Linking Words
 ,
essay
Add an article
an essay
the essay
show examples
 I am going to discuss the reasons why and what is the major condition to succeed in
life
Use synonyms
. There are several factors that caused people to fail in their childhood,
First
Linking Words
 of all, the lack of management themselves, many children can not maintain themselves to achieve the
school
Use synonyms
 requirements
such
Linking Words
 as homework, study timetable and assessment.
For example
Linking Words
, when I was in
school
Use synonyms
,I could not maintain my study time and I spend most of my time playing around with my friend.
Therefore
Linking Words
, did not pass my test to get a better education.
Second
Linking Words
, the education system might not suit them, it will lead the student lost their interest on study
thus
Linking Words
 unsuccess
school
Use synonyms
 lift.
For instance
Linking Words
, my younger brother is a practical person and he can not coop with the academic education system, so it leads him to fail his
school
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 because he could not adapt to the system.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the lack of monitoring will cause these issues because a lot of parents did not monitor their children's studies, which will make children have difficulties in
school
Use synonyms
. I believe that there are many things that can make people being a successful
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 in their adulthood,
such
Linking Words
 as luck, someone's help,and so on. ,
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 the most significant condition is the attitude if you have the never give up attitude you had halfway through of success because
this
Linking Words
 is the only way can make you become a successful hument in many aspects of
life
Use synonyms
. To sum up, there are many factors that make you be a successful student,
however
Linking Words
, if you had a insist attitude it will lead you to become a successful person in your
life
Use synonyms
 at some point.
Submitted by fankie.cecil on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: