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Band 6.5

Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #range #technology #gap #effect
Some think that the government should increase the price for tourists to visit cultural and historical attractions in a
country
, but
this
 essay will disagree because
people
 are generally equal, whether they are foreign visitors or locals. It’s not reasonable, in my opinion, to take more money from
people
 who just want to have a happy time, so if I went to a
country
 that does not treat
people
 equally, it would not be good for me;
however
, it is not good for the
country
 itself either, because it would push
people
 away from her and harm the
country
’s economy. In the example, I stopped going to the
country
 because of that; not just that, I found the
people
 stopped too, and that made the government lose a lot of money. So, it is more helpful for the government to make
people
 comfortable, and
this
 will work only if the tourists feel that they are not different and that the place is their home. Actually, they will spend more time and money on
this
 situation and return every time. As a nation, you have to serve humans no matter who they are, not exploit them in a way that makes them feel deceived, treat them with respect too, and even provide facilities. The state will win
people
, and
this
 is what matters. For local
people
, they need to welcome and introduce the place to tourists with more respect. And get to know each other well.
This
 really will be nice.
Submitted by ahmedaziz9811 on

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coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea. This will make your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your discussion, ensuring that all parts of the question are addressed.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position against charging tourists higher fees for cultural and historical attractions.
task achievement
You expressed empathy and understanding of how inequitable pricing could negatively affect both tourists and the local economy.
task achievement
Your writing showed a genuine concern for mutual respect and equality among people, which is an important and thoughtful perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital divide
  • Socio-economic classes
  • Economic opportunities
  • Democratizes access
  • Technological gadgets
  • Advanced educational tools
  • Remote work
  • Online courses
  • Digital literacy
  • Digital inclusion
  • Underprivileged communities
  • Technological advancements
  • Cutting-edge technologies
  • Economic standing
  • Quality of life
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