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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that smartphones are destroying social interaction today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #smartphones #interaction
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These days, The mobile is one of the most significant factors associated with everyone's life.
Therefore
, some
people
 think they are disrupting social cooperation. In my point of view, I agree with
this
 statement. Because
people
 who are into a cell phone lessen talking with
others
, and everyone can do some activities by using a smartphone
instead
 of doing it in person. The
first
 reason why I agree with it is most
people
, who addict to smartphones tend to shorten speaking to each other. It is the result of using mobiles while they are being with
others
such
 as during meals or at a party. One of my best friends,
for example
, who is keen on her phone, went to my recent birthday party. While everybody was celebrating for me, but she was texting with someone on her cell phone. Due to
this
 situation, I believe it is going to ruin public collaboration if she is still stuck with her phones. The
second
 point is nowadays
people
 chose to do several online activities with a smartphone
instead
 of in person. Technology makes it convenient, but
on the other hand
, it will destroy social interaction. Based on my country, a large number of citizens usually use mobile banking more than use a counter in the bank to transfer money to their family.
Therefore
, they do not need to participate with
others
 and it can be one of the reasons to ruin sociable collaboration. In conclusion, at present, various
people
 consider cell phones are destroying social collaboration. In my opinion, I agree with it because it is a cause of less talking with
others
, and somebody uses it to do some activities
instead
 of doing it directly in person.
Submitted by ramonthapat on

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When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

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  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
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  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • limit
  • face-to-face communication
  • social media
  • loss of real connections
  • distract
  • engaging
  • empathy
  • personal connection
  • addictive
  • isolation
  • enhance
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