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Writing Samples /
Band 7

Your friend has been offered a place on a course at the university where you studied. He/She would like your advice about finding a place to live. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter -describe where you lived when you were a student at the university -recommend the best way for him/her to look for accommodation -warn him/her of mistakes students make when choosing accommodation

#friend #place #course #university #advice #-describe #student #-recommend #accommodation #-warn #mistakes #students
Dear Shoaib, Hope you are doing well! I am glad to know that you got admission to the University of Peshawar. Since I was from a middle-class family, I chose a university hostel for accommodation. There were a number of reasons for that.
First,
definitely, it was pretty affordable.
Then
, there were a lot of friends from my home town who accompanied me throughout my bachelor's studies.
Last
, I found my seniors there who provided guidance during the coursework and the final year project. As you know Facebook is a popular social networking site where you can find posts from different students who want to share a room with someone else.
Also
, you can visit the hostel where on the notice board you can have information about the residence facilities.
Moreover
, I will endorse staying within the university campus hostels because they're convenient and secure, and provide opportunities to collaborate with like-minded students which is definitely going to help you.
On the other hand
, nearby living amenities in the city are drastic both socially and academically. I look forward to hearing from you at the earliest. Best wishes, Haris
Submitted by Haris Khan on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea to avoid confusing the reader. Your second paragraph, for instance, mixes your own experience with general advice. Consider separating your personal experience from the general recommendation into two distinct paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Provide a more detailed response to the prompt by expanding on each point. While you have covered the points required by the task, adding more detailed explanations and examples would strengthen your letter and fully satisfy the prompt requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of the letter is fairly logical, but transitions between your ideas could be smoother to make the narrative flow better. Consider using linking words to connect the paragraphs more clearly.
Task Achievement
Maintain a consistent and suitable tone throughout your letter. The tone you've used is fitting for the purpose of writing to a friend seeking advice.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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