IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some of today’s schools insist that all students have their own laptop computer in class to assist in their education. 🔸Do you feel that this would be an advantage to students’ education or would it be an unnecessary complication?

#today’s #schools #students #laptop #computer #class #education #🔸do #advantage #students’ #complication
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It often argues that
parents
Use synonyms
 should provide laptops to their children rather than depend on the
school
Use synonyms
 facilities and others are against
to provide
Change the verb form
providing
show examples
 the personal
laptop
Use synonyms
. Let's discuss both
Use synonyms
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Modren schools are
emphasis
Replace the word
emphasise
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smart
Correct your spelling
education
show examples
eduction
Correct your spelling
education
show examples
. Study on the screen is more
convient
Correct your spelling
convenient
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 the books.
Hence
Linking Words
, from
Use synonyms
school's
Correct article usage
the school's
show examples
point
Use synonyms
 of view that it is
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
quit
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
 difficult to arrange
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 computer for every
students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
. Major reasons are that the
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 cost to buy the computers for every student and
Correct your spelling
installation
installtion
Correct article usage
the installtion
show examples
 cost to
upgarde
Correct your spelling
upgrade
 the
Correct your spelling
classrooms
show examples
class rooms
Correct your spelling
classrooms
show examples
.
Further
Linking Words
, maintenance of
these equipment
Change the determiner
this equipment
show examples
 and recruitment of skilled staff would be another overhead.
Change preposition
From
show examples
At
Change preposition
From at
show examples
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
a school
show examples
point
Use synonyms
 of view,
this
Linking Words
 is a valid
point
Use synonyms
 and to
be consider
Change the verb form
be considered
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Laptop
Use synonyms
 is
expensive
Add an article
an expensive
the expensive
show examples
 gadget for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 and some can not afford
even
Correct pronoun usage
it even
show examples
 they
hadly
Correct your spelling
hardly
had
 support children's
Correct your spelling
education
show examples
eduction
Correct your spelling
education
show examples
.
Arrangemnt
Correct your spelling
Arrangement
Arrangements
 of personal
laptop
Use synonyms
 for
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 costly affair for many
parents
Use synonyms
.
Parents
Use synonyms
 think that their expense would be raised to maintain the computers and provide internet services. Some are fearing that personal
Use synonyms
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
 can be misused by children by viewing
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
 websites. In the conclusion, I understand that cheaper
laptop
Use synonyms
 to be introduced which can be used only for
school
Use synonyms
 students.
Correct your spelling
Government
Goverment
Correct article usage
The goverment
show examples
 should provide free laptops for economical
bakward
Correct your spelling
backwards
parents
Use synonyms
. Other social welfare organizations should come forward to
assit
Correct your spelling
assist
 to draft the policies The software used in the laptops should
be access
Change the verb form
be accessed
show examples
 only for approved or valid websites.
Submitted by Gurmit on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: