IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

With a fast pace of modern life more and more people are turning towards fast food for their main meals. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages.

With the fast pace of modern life, an increasing number of people rely on fast
food
Use synonyms
 as their primary source of nutrition.
While
Linking Words
 fast
food
Use synonyms
 offers undeniable convenience and accessibility, I believe that its disadvantages outweigh its advantages
due to
Linking Words
 its long-term effects on both individual health and society as a whole. One significant advantage of fast
food
Use synonyms
 is its speed and constant availability. In today’s competitive and demanding work environment, many individuals work extended hours and often lack the time or energy to prepare home-cooked meals.
For example
Linking Words
, a nurse returning home late at night after a 12-hour shift may find it unrealistic to cook from scratch, making fast
food
Use synonyms
 a practical alternative.
In addition
Linking Words
, fast
food
Use synonyms
 is relatively affordable and widely accessible, which makes it particularly attractive to students and low-income workers seeking quick meal options.
However
Linking Words
, relying heavily on fast
food
Use synonyms
 as a primary dietary source can have serious consequences.
Such
Linking Words
 meals are typically high in saturated fats, sodium, and refined carbohydrates, all of which contribute to obesity and other metabolic disorders. Rising obesity rates are strongly linked to chronic illnesses
such
Linking Words
 as diabetes, heart disease, and stroke. Beyond physical health, poor dietary habits can
also
Linking Words
 reduce energy levels and productivity, ultimately affecting
overall
Linking Words
 quality of life.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the growing dependence on unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 places additional strain on healthcare systems, increasing public expenditure on preventable diseases. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 fast
food
Use synonyms
 provides convenience, affordability, and accessibility in a busy modern world, its negative impact on long-term health and society makes it more harmful than beneficial.
Therefore
Linking Words
, its disadvantages clearly outweigh its advantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

development
Add more real examples or facts to back your claim about health and costs.
structure
Make the main reason clear in the first paragraph and show it again in the body and end.
language
Use short sentences and simple words so the writing is easy to read.
cohesion
Link ideas with small joining words to help flow.
organization
Clear view and good essay shape (intro, body, conclusion).
content
Example (nurse on night shift) helps the point.
assessment
The main idea is clear that disadvantages beat advantages.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: