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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extend do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answer and include any revelant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#sales #consumer #goods #power #society #revelant
Nowadays,
people
 tend to consumed products with high prices
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media due to better offering and marketing strategies and
this goods
Change the determiner
these goods
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are purchased not
necessity
Add an article
a necessity
show examples
. I
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
this
 statement in my essay I will explain many ways.
To begin
 with, adults who are surfing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online to look
their
Change preposition
at their
show examples
currently
Replace the word
current
show examples
 needs and come across
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 variety of
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
 in many kinds of subjects.
For instance
, with
increasing
Add an article
an increasing
the increasing
show examples
 number of influencer in
Instagram
Add a comma
,Instagram
show examples
 most of them represent what she wear today or even what she eat or drink today. When youngsters and followers saw that the posts her share immediately, they search
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
website
Correct article usage
the website
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
this
 kind of sharing things are always with high sales and
people
 who are saw buying even they do not need because of the impact on themselves.
In addition
, individuals who are living
far
Change preposition
in far
show examples
 distance countries
such
 as
oversea
Correct your spelling
overseas
show examples
 trade online and it takes time but they accept
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
waiting.
For example
, the platform called Amazon doing significant marketing and sometimes slightly discount
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 some products. My best friend just
last
 week bought a dress that she will wear on her prom night. The price was extremely
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 much
also
 not
good
Add an article
a good
the good
show examples
 model but she
order
Change the verb form
orders
show examples
 on advice.
On the other hand
, in a survey published recently in Onedio 69
People
 out of 100, said that they are buying
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
 that they
are not need
Change the verb form
are not needed
show examples
 for their daily life. To sum up, with growing social media candidate
people
 curious about the what celebrities wear drink or eat and closely follow,
therefore
 the amount of money they spend increased day by day.
Submitted by mefcermuzler on

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