Some people think that resources should be spent on protecting wild animals, while others think those would be better used for the human population. discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #resources #animals #population

Some people feel that resources should be spent on protecting wild animals. While others have contrasting views and they argue that it would be best if resources are used for the human population. And

that is

because they are concerned about the discomforts they face in a

day

life like traffic problems and many other issues. On the other side, people supporting wild animal protection is because these creatures are becoming extinct

with

Change preposition

show examples

increasing

Correct article usage

an increasing

show examples

rate. Both the views are quite understandable and I will discuss them in

this

essay. In my opinion, I firmly believe that resources should be spent on protecting wild animals.

To begin

with, it is very important to spend funds on protecting undomesticated beings.

This

is because these untamed beings are all alone in the forest trying to fend and save themselves from potential dangers like bushfire, earthquake, tsunami, drought, etc. Unlike

mankind

Add a comma

,mankind

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they cannot express their pain and fear.

Therefore

, it is our responsibility to protect them before

them

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

diappear

Correct your spelling

disappear

. According to recent reports and

news

Add a comma

,news

show examples

many undomesticated beings have become extinct.

Thus

it is high time we safeguard them before there are no creatures left on the planet. Because if that happens the entire world will be destroyed.

On the contrary

, there are lots of issues in our

day

life which should be fixed using

this

money.

For instance

, due to increased

population

Add a comma

,population

show examples

there is congestion problem and

also

immense pollution in the cities.

This

can be solved if money is put

Change preposition

into

show examples

rail construction.

Likewise

, placing more garbage bins around the cities. Building more houses to solve

accomodation

Correct your spelling

accommodation

issues. To conclude, it is more crucial to put in money in safeguarding untamed animals as they are on the verge of extinction. As mentioned earlier in the essay, I hold the view that rescuing and fending for these creatures is major as

that is

not only for their betterment but

also

for ours.

Submitted by maimunazaman474 on Sun Aug 22 2021

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

323 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that resources should be spent on protecting wild animals, while others think those would be better used for the human population. discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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