IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that resources should be spent on protecting wild animals, while others think those would be better used for the human population. discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #resources #animals #population
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people feel that resources should be spent on protecting wild animals. While others have contrasting views and they argue that it would be best if resources are used for the human population. And
that is
Linking Words
 because they are concerned about the discomforts they face in a
day
Use synonyms
 to
day
Use synonyms
 life like traffic problems and many other issues. On the other side, people supporting wild animal protection is because these creatures are becoming extinct
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
show examples
 rate. Both the views are quite understandable and I will discuss them in
this
Linking Words
 essay. In my opinion, I firmly believe that resources should be spent on protecting wild animals.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is very important to spend funds on protecting undomesticated beings.
This
Linking Words
 is because these untamed beings are all alone in the forest trying to fend and save themselves from potential dangers like bushfire, earthquake, tsunami, drought, etc. Unlike
mankind
Add a comma
,mankind
show examples
 they cannot express their pain and fear.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is our responsibility to protect them before
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
diappear
Correct your spelling
disappear
. According to recent reports and
news
Add a comma
,news
show examples
 many undomesticated beings have become extinct.
Thus
Linking Words
 it is high time we safeguard them before there are no creatures left on the planet. Because if that happens the entire world will be destroyed.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there are lots of issues in our
day
Use synonyms
 to
day
Use synonyms
 life which should be fixed using
this
Linking Words
 money.
For instance
Linking Words
, due to increased
population
Add a comma
,population
show examples
 there is congestion problem and
also
Linking Words
 immense pollution in the cities.
This
Linking Words
 can be solved if money is put
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 rail construction.
Likewise
Linking Words
, placing more garbage bins around the cities. Building more houses to solve
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 issues. To conclude, it is more crucial to put in money in safeguarding untamed animals as they are on the verge of extinction. As mentioned earlier in the essay, I hold the view that rescuing and fending for these creatures is major as
that is
Linking Words
 not only for their betterment but
also
Linking Words
 for ours.
Submitted by maimunazaman474 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: