IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. Dinosaur, dodos…) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The
extinction
Use synonyms
 of animal
species
Use synonyms
 has occurred throughout history and is often considered a natural part of evolution.
While
Linking Words
 some people think that we should not intervene in
this
Linking Words
 process, others believe that human efforts are necessary to prevent
this
Linking Words
 from happening. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both perspectives before presenting my opinion. On the one hand,
extinction
Use synonyms
 is a natural process.
Species
Use synonyms
 like dinosaurs, dodos, etc., disappeared long before
humans
Use synonyms
 had any impact on the natural environment.
This
Linking Words
 means that efforts to prevent
extinction
Use synonyms
 are futile. Nature has its own way of maintaining balance through natural laws, and human intervention may upset that process.
For example
Linking Words
, the
extinction
Use synonyms
 of dinosaur
species
Use synonyms
 about 65 million years ago was caused by a collision with a giant meteorite, not human activities. Despite
this
Linking Words
species
Use synonyms
 going extinct, life on Earth continued to evolve, leading to the rise of mammals and eventually
humans
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 showed that
extinction
Use synonyms
 is sometimes a crucial part of nature’s way of adapting and of evolutionary processes.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many current extinctions are directly caused by human activities
such
Linking Words
 as deforestation, pollution, illegal hunting, etc. Unlike the above case, these activities could be prevented. The loss of
species
Use synonyms
 is caused by careless
humans
Use synonyms
, leading to damaged ecosystems, as every animal plays a role in the food chain.
Moreover
Linking Words
, biodiversity is important for agriculture and a stable climate.
For instance
Linking Words
, orangutans help regenerate forests by spreading seeds, but their numbers are falling
due to
Linking Words
 deforestation. If they disappear, the forests they support may
also
Linking Words
 decline, which would worsen climate change.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we are responsible for protecting endangered animals whose decline is caused by human actions. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
extinction
Use synonyms
 has always been a part of nature, many
species
Use synonyms
 today are disappearing because of human impact.
This
Linking Words
 means we have a duty to protect them. By acting on
this
Linking Words
 responsibility, we can help maintain ecological balance and ensure a better future for both wildlife and
humans
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to the main idea of the essay. A clearer linking of sentences will help improve flow.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or evidence to support your points, as this will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points well.
task achievement
You effectively discuss both sides of the argument before giving your opinion, showing a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: