Some people claim that what people eat in many Western countries is unhealthy and that their diet is getting worse .Critics say that these countries should change their diet. What are your opinion on this?

#people #countries #diet #critics #change

Over recent years, an increasing number of

people

have been claiming that food in many Western

countries

is not healthy and arguments have persisted as to whether

people

in these

countries

should change their

diet

Although

there are convincing arguments on both sides, I strongly agree with these opinions. As far as I know, fast

foods

and soft drinks are the main

diet

Change the noun form

diets

show examples

of many Western

people

, partly because they are too busy at work so they do not have time to cook by themselves, partly because many of them are so poor that they cannot afford healthy

foods

However

, it should be mentioned that fast

foods

and soft drinks are extremely unhealthy. In fact, if consumed too frequently, they can cause several diseases

such

as obesity or even some types of cancers. For their own

benefits

Fix the agreement mistake

benefit

show examples

people

in these Western

countries

should change their

diet

Firstly

, they should limit eating junk

foods

and replace them

Change preposition

with

show examples

homemade cooks

such

as rice or soup, which are not only affordable but

also

easy to make.

In addition

, they should

also

add more fruits and vegetables to their

diet

. These provide vitamins and nutritions, helping to maintain a healthy gut and prevent constipation and other digestion problems.

Secondly

besides

converting their menus, Western

people

can

also

improve their health by exercising more.

Moreover

, physical exercise relaxes their body and improves creative thinking at work. In short, the diets of

people

from Western

countries

are detrimental mainly because of the amount of fast food they consume.

As a result

, they should change their

diet

by limiting junk food and adding fruits and vegetables;

also

, exercising more is

also

recommended.

Submitted by khuongquynhnga1997 on Mon Aug 23 2021

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people claim that what people eat in many Western countries is unhealthy and that their diet is getting worse .Critics say that these countries should change their diet. What are your opinion on this?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that to learn a second language well it is necessary to live in the country where that language is spoken.What is your opinion about this?

Police in some countries like England don't carry guns. Some people don't approve of this because they think that police with guns gives them security. Others think that police carrying guns decreases crimes. What is your opinion? Give relevant examples and experiences.

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Scientists argue that many people eat too much junk food, and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility.