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Band 6.5

Popular events like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#events #football #world #cup #occasions #tensions #emotions
The population from many countries have always liked
play
Add an article
the play
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. Popular
events
, make thousands of people sitting in front of their TV. It is even supported that
sporting
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sports
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 like the football world cup are essential in easing international tensions and makes communities feel patriotic without violent actions. I think that
this
 idea
have
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has
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 some good points but not everything.
Then
,
this
 essay intends to examine my point of view.
Firstly
, our government are currently organising international
events
such
 as
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Olympic
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olympic
Correct article usage
the olympic
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 games or
world
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the world
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 cup of several sports. Indeed, during these games, countries are fighting against each other , which may be
interresting
Correct your spelling
interesting
 because ,while society
have
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has
show examples
 arguments with others through sports, there is no real war.
For instance
, footballers are fair-play with their
concurrents
Correct your spelling
concurrence
 which creates
a funny links
Correct the article-noun agreement
a funny link
funny links
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 between them. In
this
 sense, it may avoid some war or political tensions because
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
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 the head of everyone, sport stays a game.
In
Change preposition
On
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 the other hand, sporty
events
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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television are not obviously seen by the whole population which mean that sometimes
media
Correct article usage
the media
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 put too much importance on these
events
.
Then
, I do not think that sport can release international tensions.
For example
,
Replace the word
losing
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loosing
Correct your spelling
losing
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 a game
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 has as
only
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an only
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 consequence to create more competitions between athletes for after but it does not give the desire to kill the adversaries.
Hence
, watching some athletics event keep the communities busy and they forget to think about their daily routines and their problems but it is not essential in order to keep good internationals relation. To conclude, I believe that sports are crucial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society in order to avoid people to think but it is not forced to keep good politicals
relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
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. We may think more about what we can control and what we can not.
Submitted by eve.gilquin06 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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