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Writing Samples
Band 7

New technology has resulted in many jobs, which used to be performed by people, now being done by computers or robots. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #jobs #people #computers #robots #development
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The advancement of technology, especially in computerization and robotics, has indeed led to a significant shift in the job market. The technology advancement's benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
This
 essay examines both views and argues that change is predominantly positive. Computers and robots can perform tasks faster and more accurately than humans, leading to higher productivity and efficiency.
Also
 using computers and robots can be more cost-effective than human labour as they do not require salaries, benefits, or breaks. The major benefit is that computerization can take over hazardous tasks, reducing the risks of injuries to humans.
On the other hand
, the most significant drawback is the displacement of workers whose jobs are automated, leading to unemployment and economic instability for those individuals.In some sectors like healthcare and early education, the human element is important. Over-reliance on
automation
 can lead to a loss of personal interaction and empathy. In my view,
automation
 is inevitable. To ensure that the advantages outweigh than disadvantages. Gains for productivity, financial and safety are too crucial to ignore.By offering gains in productivity, cost saving , and safety safety-free work environment,
automation
 opens a new window of opportunity for individuals and society. In conclusion, society can not reject the advance of
automation
. Getting the balance right on
automation
 is to implement policies and strategies that support workers through retraining programs, social, safety nets and initiatives that promote equitable access to the opportunities created by new technologies.Balancing technological progress with human-centric considerations will be key to maximizing the positive impact of
this
 development.
Submitted by uyangad45 on

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relevant specific examples
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clear comprehensive ideas
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complete response
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introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that frame your essay well.
logical structure
Your essay is logically structured, with clear transitions between points.
supported main points
Your main points are relevant and supported, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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