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Band 4.5

Some people think that resources should be spent on protecting wild animals, while others think those would be better used for the human population. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #resources #animals #population
There
are
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is
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a
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an
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 ongoing debate whether
funds
 should be used for protecting wild
animals
 or
people
. I will discuss both perspectives in the following paragraphs and leave my thought at the end of
essay
Add an article
the essay
an essay
show examples
. On the one hand, it is
fundamental
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a fundamental
the fundamental
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 factor to maintain balance in
ecosystem
Add an article
the ecosystem
an ecosystem
show examples
.
To begin
 with, recently there has been severe climate changes and it has contributed to the extinction of some species of wild
animals
. To be specific, even the endangered
animals
 play significant roles in nature by taking certain positions in food chains.
Therefore
, if one of the species become extinct, there will be unexpected bad results in
ecosystem
Add an article
the ecosystem
an ecosystem
show examples
. In
this
 respect, we have to invest
funds
 to protect and rescue the endangered wild
animals
 and take care of them until they have
ample
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an ample
the ample
show examples
 number of the species.
On the other hand
, it is true that there are numerous
people
 who are starving
everyday
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every day
show examples
. To be specific, in modern society, there exists a big gap between the poor and the rich. Take developing
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 as an example, developed
countries
'
people
 have plenty of food resources in comparison with
majority
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the majority
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 of Africans are in hunger. As well as that, rich
countries
 have advanced technologies so that they can deal with some diseases, which poor
countries
 cannot deal with themselves at present. To alleviate
this
 issue, rich
countries
'
people
 should raise
funds
 to feed them and aid them by building infrastructures and providing advanced technologies to overcome the situation they have suffered. Through the aforementioned
both
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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perspectives, the way I see it is even though there are
bunch
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a bunch
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 of
people
 who need physical help, we should allocate some
funds
 to maintain our ecosystem by saving the wild
animals
.
Submitted by playsocc1216 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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