IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that resources should be spent on protecting wild animals, while others think those would be better used for the human population. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #resources #animals #population
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There
are
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is
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a
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an
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 ongoing debate whether
funds
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 should be used for protecting wild
animals
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 or
people
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. I will discuss both perspectives in the following paragraphs and leave my thought at the end of
essay
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the essay
an essay
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. On the one hand, it is
fundamental
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a fundamental
the fundamental
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 factor to maintain balance in
ecosystem
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the ecosystem
an ecosystem
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, recently there has been severe climate changes and it has contributed to the extinction of some species of wild
animals
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. To be specific, even the endangered
animals
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 play significant roles in nature by taking certain positions in food chains.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if one of the species become extinct, there will be unexpected bad results in
ecosystem
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the ecosystem
an ecosystem
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. In
this
Linking Words
 respect, we have to invest
funds
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 to protect and rescue the endangered wild
animals
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 and take care of them until they have
ample
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an ample
the ample
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 number of the species.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is true that there are numerous
people
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 who are starving
everyday
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every day
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. To be specific, in modern society, there exists a big gap between the poor and the rich. Take developing
country
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countries
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 as an example, developed
countries
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'
people
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 have plenty of food resources in comparison with
majority
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the majority
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 of Africans are in hunger. As well as that, rich
countries
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 have advanced technologies so that they can deal with some diseases, which poor
countries
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 cannot deal with themselves at present. To alleviate
this
Linking Words
 issue, rich
countries
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'
people
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 should raise
funds
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 to feed them and aid them by building infrastructures and providing advanced technologies to overcome the situation they have suffered. Through the aforementioned
both
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apply
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perspectives, the way I see it is even though there are
bunch
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a bunch
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 of
people
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 who need physical help, we should allocate some
funds
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 to maintain our ecosystem by saving the wild
animals
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.
Submitted by playsocc1216 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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