IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The best way to prevent people from smoking is to impose high taxes on tobacco products. In this way, people will be less likely to develop a long-term addiction to smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #taxes #tobacco #products #addiction
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The greatest solution to stop
people
 from smoking
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is to increase the fee on cigarette materials. As the result, it will decrease the
number
 of
smoker
Fix the agreement mistake
smokers
show examples
 in the future. It is undeniable that
money
 is the main factor of human life, some
people
 do not have much
money
 to spend
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 buying tobacco.
Therefore
, perhaps it will lead to less
number
 of
addiction
Fix the agreement mistake
addictions
show examples
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
.
To begin
 with, a major reason that there will have some impacts from increasing taxes
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 tobacco products is
money
. It is apparent that
money
 can run almost
systems
Correct quantifier usage
all systems
show examples
 in the world.
Consequently
, if there any policies to charge more expense in cigarette, there will be some groups of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 that will have no ability to afford.
Finally
, they will try to stop smoking because their outgoings are limited so they have to save their funds for other things which are more important than
this
 activity.
In addition
, according to less
number
 of
people
 who are likely to smoke, commercial businesses which are related to tobacco production will get a substantial impact because the sale will decline. It is undeniable that if there are
smaller
Add an article
a smaller
show examples
number
 of a customer,
therefore
, the business will not run smoothly because the product is
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 longer needed.
Furthermore
, from
this
 result, they will be a trend to stop producing and stop doing
this
 business in
final
Correct article usage
the final
show examples
. In conclusion, I personally agree with
this
 because it can be easily predicted that if the tax will become more expensive,
people
 will try to stop smoking because their budgets are not enough to support
this
 expense.
Finally
, there will be less of
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
a proportion
show examples
 of
people
 who are likely to smoke and commercial businesses will not receive appropriate profits so they
finally
 stop.
Submitted by thitiwatpava on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • impose high taxes
  • tobacco products
  • prevent
  • people
  • smoking
  • long-term addiction
  • less likely
  • develop
  • discourage
  • affordable
  • reduce
  • availability
  • market
  • financial burden
  • deter
  • young people
  • start
  • generate revenue
  • government
  • invest
  • anti-smoking campaigns
  • healthcare services
  • continue
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