IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Modern lifestyles are completely different from the way people lived in the past.Some people think changes have been positive by others believe they have been negative.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#lifestyles #people #changes
A significant variation in the
lifestyle
 of individuals from past to present is considered optimistic by some
people
. Others,
however
, contradict and consider the changes to be destructive.
This
 essay will discuss both sides of the argument followed by a logical opinion. On one side, a change in the
lifestyle
 of
people
 is considered positive because now the
lifestyle
 has become more comfortable
in contrast
 to the
lifestyle
 of the
people
 in past. It means
people
 in current time have a purchasing power which they utilize to fulfil all their requirements which makes their life easy and full of comfort whereas the economic status of the majority in the past did not use to be strong enough to overcome all of their requirements to make their life effortless.
As a result
, their
lifestyle
 used to be very hectic that would involve substantial physical work.
For instance
, almost everybody in the current generation can afford an automobile to commute longer distances comfortably,
however
, in older days owning a motor vehicle used to be a rare case scenario and
people
 would travel longer distances by walking.
Therefore
, a modern
lifestyle
 has become more comfortable in comparison to the older
lifestyle
.
On the other hand
, other
set
Change the wording
sets
show examples
 of
people
 argue
this
 variation of
lifestyle
 to be negative.
This
 is because the modern
lifestyle
 is more sluggish with the absence of physical
movement
. It means the way the technological advancements
have
Add the particle
tohave
show examples
 ease the
lifestyle
 of
people
, the physical
movement
 is absent in the modern
people
 whereas older
lifestyle
 did not have
such
 technological involvement in the
day
 to
day
 activities of
people
 which would encourage them to put physical efforts.
For instance
,
people
 in older days would go out and involve themselves in some outdoor activities
such
 as camping, sports, cycling and much more.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
people
 devote their maximum time indoor in front of their technological devices
such
 as laptops and TV.
As a result
, with the absence of physical
movement
 in the
lifestyle
,
people
 have become more disease-prone in comparison to the older generations. Conclusively,
although
 the modern
lifestyle
 has become more comfortable, it has certainly eliminated a physical
movement
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
's
day
 to
day
 activities. In my opinion, despite few minor consequences of the change in the
lifestyle
 of individuals, the modern
lifestyle
 is undeniably better and more comfortable than the older one.
Submitted by ankit.hart on

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Linking words for giving examples:

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  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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