IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Modern lifestyles are completely different from the way people lived in the past.Some people think changes have been positive by others believe they have been negative.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#lifestyles #people #changes
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A significant variation in the
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 of individuals from past to present is considered optimistic by some
people
Use synonyms
. Others,
however
Linking Words
, contradict and consider the changes to be destructive.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides of the argument followed by a logical opinion. On one side, a change in the
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 is considered positive because now the
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 has become more comfortable
in contrast
Linking Words
 to the
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 of the
people
Use synonyms
 in past. It means
people
Use synonyms
 in current time have a purchasing power which they utilize to fulfil all their requirements which makes their life easy and full of comfort whereas the economic status of the majority in the past did not use to be strong enough to overcome all of their requirements to make their life effortless.
As a result
Linking Words
, their
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 used to be very hectic that would involve substantial physical work.
For instance
Linking Words
, almost everybody in the current generation can afford an automobile to commute longer distances comfortably,
however
Linking Words
, in older days owning a motor vehicle used to be a rare case scenario and
people
Use synonyms
 would travel longer distances by walking.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a modern
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 has become more comfortable in comparison to the older
lifestyle
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other
set
Change the wording
sets
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 argue
this
Linking Words
 variation of
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 to be negative.
This
Linking Words
 is because the modern
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 is more sluggish with the absence of physical
movement
Use synonyms
. It means the way the technological advancements
have
Add the particle
tohave
show examples
 ease the
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
, the physical
movement
Use synonyms
 is absent in the modern
people
Use synonyms
 whereas older
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 did not have
such
Linking Words
 technological involvement in the
day
Use synonyms
 to
day
Use synonyms
 activities of
people
Use synonyms
 which would encourage them to put physical efforts.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 in older days would go out and involve themselves in some outdoor activities
such
Linking Words
 as camping, sports, cycling and much more.
However
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
people
Use synonyms
 devote their maximum time indoor in front of their technological devices
such
Linking Words
 as laptops and TV.
As a result
Linking Words
, with the absence of physical
movement
Use synonyms
 in the
lifestyle
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 have become more disease-prone in comparison to the older generations. Conclusively,
although
Linking Words
 the modern
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 has become more comfortable, it has certainly eliminated a physical
movement
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's
day
Use synonyms
 to
day
Use synonyms
 activities. In my opinion, despite few minor consequences of the change in the
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 of individuals, the modern
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 is undeniably better and more comfortable than the older one.
Submitted by ankit.hart on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: