IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

#salary #job #satisfaction
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
More and more people think that getting high wages is considered to be more advantageous than being satisfied/happy with your
job
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and I believe that gaining higher wages is much more important for two reasons. First of all, I believe that having a
job
Use synonyms
 with a high
salary
Use synonyms
 makes people more satisfied; no matter what kind of
job
Use synonyms
 they do. In fact, money can bring pleasure and happiness.
Although
Linking Words
 you work 8 hours a day in a
job
Use synonyms
 you do not like, after
job
Use synonyms
 duty, you can spend the whole day
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other things you enjoy. A study published by New York University in 2013 concluded that 90% of people who get high salaries are happy in their lives regardless of what jobs they do.
Therefore
Linking Words
, getting
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
 can provide you with
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction and pleasure.
In addition
Linking Words
, I believe that getting a high
salary
Use synonyms
 means having more money which is essential for survival and a good living. What I mean, money can bring you all means of comfort and convenience. It helps you to get all
basic
Correct article usage
the basic
show examples
 needs for your family.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, even if someone feels satisfied with his
job
Use synonyms
, but can not provide his family with their needs. What are the benefits of that
job
Use synonyms
? He will
faces
Change the verb form
face
show examples
 a lot of life pressure and will not enjoy his life.
For example
Linking Words
, when you get a high
salary
Use synonyms
, you can buy a convenient house and a good car. You can
also
Linking Words
 buy your family all their needs. You can send your children to the best schools and universities.
As a result
Linking Words
, the way to survive and live a good life is to get
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by zainabras98 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to elaborate more on opposing viewpoints to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The logical progression could be clearer between some ideas.
coherence cohesion
Clear and strong introduction stating your stance on the topic.
task achievement
Examples provided are relevant and enhance the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: