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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people living in the cities these days do not get enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this? How to tackle the problem.

#people #cities #exercise
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Nowadays, a large number of individuals
devoid
Add a missing verb
are devoid
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 of physical activities because of
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of factors, long working
hours
Use synonyms
 being one of them.
However
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,
this
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 trend can affect the physical as well as mental health of persons to large extent.
This
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 essay will discuss the various sources and solutions to resolve them.
To begin
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 with, the
first
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 primary reason for
avoid
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avoiding
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 bodily effort is long working
hours
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
office
Add an article
the office
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. As the cities are the centre of trade and commerce which brings excessive
Use synonyms
work load
Correct your spelling
workload
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 to
people
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.
Croud
Correct your spelling
Crowd
Proud
Cloud
 of the cities are busy in their jobs.
For instance
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, my brother is always busy
on
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with
show examples
 their
office
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 for
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 10-12
hours
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 which
results
Add the preposition
inresults
fromresults
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 he even don't take time
to
Change preposition
for
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 their family.
Additionally
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, with the advent of
Correct your spelling
technology
technolgy
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,technolgy
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 all the
work
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 has been done by machines.
People
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 of the cities are drowsy and do not do any kind of physical
work
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 with their hands.
Hence
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, these are the main possibilities
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
Change the verb form
result
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results
Add the preposition
inresults
fromresults
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people
Use synonyms
 do not get physical exercise.
On the other hand
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, physical fitness is not that can be ignored as it
results
Add the preposition
inresults
fromresults
show examples
 many health issues
such
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 as heart disease and various mental problems. To solve
this
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 issue, the employers of offices should make the facility of
gym
Add an article
the gym
a gym
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 so that every employee in
Use synonyms
office
Add an article
the office
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 take
this
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 advantage.
Moreover
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, employees should not sit too long on
Add an article
the chair
a chair
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chair
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chairs
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 as they should walk
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 5-10 minutes after every 2
hours
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.
Secondly
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,
people
Use synonyms
 should not highly dependent on machines and must do all possible efforts to
work
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 physically. To conclude,it is believed that
this
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 trend is mainly
continous
Correct your spelling
continuous
 in the town.
community
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the community
a community
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 should realise the importance of physical fitness and do smart
work
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 to balance
office
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 and exercise. The organisation should
also
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 take corrective actions
such
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 as reduce
Use synonyms
work load
Correct your spelling
workload
show examples
 or providing physical fitness
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
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 so that
employee
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employees
show examples
 can take these
benfits
Correct your spelling
benefits
.
Submitted by shwetaverma30722 on

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • desk-bound jobs
  • fast-paced urban life
  • conveniences
  • physical exertion
  • barrier
  • densely populated
  • pollution
  • safety concerns
  • urban planning
  • pedestrian areas
  • cycle lanes
  • accessible
  • workplace wellness programs
  • subsidize
  • financial barriers
  • public awareness
  • incorporate
What to do next:
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